


Days We All Have

by FriendlyNonMurderingSort



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Amputation, F/M, M/M, Minor Character Death, POV Alternating, Zombie Apocalypse, animal injury
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2018-10-24 01:10:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 34,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10731066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FriendlyNonMurderingSort/pseuds/FriendlyNonMurderingSort
Summary: All Kazuhira Miller wanted was a normal life with his semi-normal boyfriend, Ahab, and their semi-normal dog, DD. His entire view of reality is crushed in an instant when a man in his workplace is attacked and killed by another person. With a vague plan in mind, Kaz, Ahab, and other survivors find themselves constantly on the move in search of a safe place. The end goal is to meet up with Ahab's brother in Dallas, Texas, but when each day is a struggle to survive, there is no telling if they will make it. Food dwindling and energy waning, their chances are slim.Led by John, Eva and Adam are taken across the country to meet with the only other people they know, in the hopes that they are still alive. John must bear the guilt of what he has done, and ensure that his family survives. Wary and unsure who they can and cannot trust, it becomes harder and harder with each passing day to tell friend from foe. Perhaps, in the end, it is not the roaming monsters that they need be most cautious of.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Whoops forgot the summary the first time.

Kazuhira repeatedly tapped the butt of his pen against his wooden desk. No matter how many times he heard it go _click click_ , the sound didn’t give him any ideas. For an hour and a half, he had been staring at a blank page. The line indicating where the typing would begin blinked at him incessantly.

Giving up on the pen clicking, Kaz leaned back in his chair. He laced his fingers and pressed the knuckle of his pointer finger against his mouth. Kaz had written a thousand reports like this one before. It was nothing new for him to take notes during a meeting and turn them into something substantial that the company could use.

Only this time, he had nothing.

Kaz dropped one hand and grabbed his notepad with the other. He flicked through the pages and then flipped the notepad back to the start. He flicked through the pages again. The meeting had actually been interesting, and that was killing Kaz. A new study on deadly, infectious diseases and how the company could use them as profit. Should the company back research facilities and hospitals, then they would receive money from the institutions once they began to profit. What was so difficult about that?

Kaz’s coworker, a younger man with dark brown hair, peered over the divide between their cubicles.

“Have you read the news?” he asked.

Kazuhira glanced up at the young man. Roger? Robert? “No, why?” Kaz asked back. “Did something happen?”

Rog-bert passed his smartphone over the divide.

“Really? Using your phone on the job?” Kaz chastised.

He took the phone anyway and scrolled through the article that Roger presented to him. It wasn’t much of anything at first. Some crazy guy, rumored to be a doped-up gang member, had attacked a young woman out on a walk. She’d gone to the hospital with a fever and other symptoms, but the doctors hadn’t diagnosed it.

“What’s so special about it?” Kaz asked, and passed the phone back over the divide. “Y’know, in the meeting today we talked about diseases that don’t currently have a cure; this could have been good to bring up then.” Kaz glanced a look at his neighbor’s nametag; Roger it was.

“What’s weird is that it happened in California,” Roger said. “The same thing happened, at about the same time, too.”

“Coincidences happen all over the world,” Kaz argued. “There’s no reason to be so suspicious about it. It probably happened everywhere you can think of. Besides, that’s not so strange for New York. Didn’t you read in the paper years back about the man who bit someone after getting high?” Was it another young girl that had been attacked in California? Kaz’s thoughts flashed to a pretty girl with blonde hair, but she was gone as quickly as he thought about her. Kaz scowled. Why did he think about her? Wasn’t it her fault that he moved to New York in the first place?

“Yeah, but the person he bit didn’t go to the hospital with some weird disease.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing, Roger. You watch too many movies.” Kaz pushed a hand through his blond hair, smoothing it back once more. “You young kids and your TV shows.”

“You’re not much older than I am,” Roger teased. “You just act older.”

“And that’s why I have a better salary than you do,” Kaz quipped with a smirk spread wide across his mouth.

Roger floundered for words like a fish gasping for oxygen. Eventually, he sat back down in his seat.

Now that the distraction was gone, Kaz went back to staring at his blank document. For three hours, the line had been blinking at him. Kaz rubbed his forehead with a groan. Three hours? His day was nearly over. It’s not as though the report was due that afternoon, but it was better to get things done quickly. Besides, he wanted to spend his weekend relaxing, not thinking about work.

Ahab spoke that morning about finding a new dog park, and that he wanted to take DD there to try and get some of the pup’s energy out of him. Kaz wasn’t sure where he found such a strange dog in the first place, but it certainly had more energy than any other dog that Kaz had ever known.

Suddenly, the weight of Kaz’s cellphone in his pocket became very apparent. What was to stop him from taking a fifteen-minute break and calling Ahab? Surely there would be no harm in that. Ahab always helped soothe his nerves, and hearing his voice might help get Kaz back on track.

Kaz snorted. Yeah, right. Hearing Ahab’s voice would just make him more anxious to get home. If he talked to Ahab, he would just become more distracted than he already was. Kaz clicked his pen against the desk a few more times. When that proved unsatisfying, he turned off his computer monitor and stood up. Kazuhira stretched this way and that, loosening his tight back muscles, and then grabbed his thermos.

He headed to the break room on his floor, where a few other employees sat, munching on their lunches. Kaz wasn’t quite hungry yet, but a cup of coffee would do him some good. Kaz prepared the coffee maker the office had—one that was out-of-date but still produced decent coffee—and then fished his phone out of his pocket.

Technically, he wasn’t at his desk working. He had every right to call Ahab while he was on his break. Kaz held his thumb over the button and watched his phone unlock from his fingerprint alone, still amazed at how quickly technology evolved. He scrolled through his contacts to find Ahab’s number.

Kaz’s heart jumped at the name at the bottom of the screen. John. Kaz could remember the last time he called John. That had been years and years ago. Nearly ten, if he remembered correctly. John brushed Kaz off like an unwanted pest and hadn’t spoken to him since. Kaz furrowed his eyebrows. Why the hell did he even keep John’s number?

Kaz contemplated deleting it but decided against it. Who knew when it would come in handy?

Kaz switched back to Ahab’s contact. His thumb hovered over the call button, but before he could press it, Ahab’s contact flashed on screen with an incoming call. Kaz couldn’t help the grin that split his cheeks. He coughed once to clear it, and then answered the call. He stuck his phone between his shoulder and ear as he poured his coffee.

“Hey, Ahab. I was just about to call you.”

“Kaz, where—where are you?” Ahab asked. He sounded out of breath. Kaz could hear DD in the background, barking up a storm.

“I’m at the office,” Kaz answered. “It’s Thursday, Ahab. Did you forget?” Kaz teased. Although a small part of him wondered if Ahab was having a rough morning. He grabbed two tiny cups of creamer and poured them both into his thermos of coffee. “Shouldn’t you be at work, too?”

“Kaz, you need to leave,” Ahab said.

Kaz scrunched up his face in confusion. “What do you mean, leave? It’s the middle of the day, Ahab. I could lose my job.” Kaz lowered his voice, grinning once more. “If this is a booty call, you could have saved it for later, y’know.”

“Kazuhira, this isn’t the time,” Ahab insisted.

Kaz frowned. “Okay, now isn’t the time.” It was odd, Ahab using his full name. He only did that when he was deadly serious about something. “What’s wrong, Ahab?”

“Is everyone at your office acting normal?”

Kaz turned to rest his backside against the counter. He sipped at his coffee as he glanced at the others, nonchalant. “Yes. Why? Is there a riot happening?” he joked.

Ahab didn’t respond right away. “Something like that,” he agreed. “Kaz, I really need you to leave. There isn’t much time, and the roads are starting to become completely blocked.” He paused. There was a scream on the other end of the line, and DD furiously barking. 

“Ahab? What the fuck is happening?” Kaz hissed.

A coworker looked up at Kaz. He smiled at her and then turned around once more.

“Is there a fire?” Kaz whispered.

“DD, come here!” Ahab commanded. DD was still barking, but he sounded a little closer to the phone now. “Kaz, I’m going to head to your office. Get out of that building, and meet me on the usual way there, okay? Don’t bother with a taxi; it won’t happen. Just run.”

“Ahab, it’s a three-hour walk—“ Kaz didn’t get any more out before Ahab ended the call. 

Kaz stared at the call history screen on his phone as if it had bitten him. He frowned. He didn’t know what Ahab was talking about. A flash of fear went through Kaz. Did he have an attack and Kaz wasn’t there to help him? The guilt chewed Kaz from the inside out, but Ahab knew to go to their house and stay inside when that happened. Perhaps the scream had been someone at the dog park that was startled by DD’s barking. That was the most logical answer.

Kaz slid his phone back into his pocket and retreated to his desk with his coffee. Despite the confusing and worrying phone call with Ahab, his head was no longer empty of ideas. Kaz sat at his desk, cracked his knuckles, and then began to type.

Only two hours into his typing, and the noise outside of the office building was becoming unbearable. Everyone else was starting to notice it, too. People outside were screaming and yelling nonstop. Roger got up from his seat to peer out the window at the road below them. He craned his neck, his forehead pressed against the glass.

“What’s going on?” Kaz asked. He paused his writing, making sure to save before going over to the window with Roger.

“Is there a parade or something?” Roger asked.

Kaz unlatched the lock on the window and shoved it up so he could poke his head out. All around the building, and in surrounding buildings, people were doing the same. The street far below them seemed to be alive as if swarming with ants. 

“It doesn’t sound like a parade. Ahab called me and said there was some sort of riot happening. We live ways away from here. It must be big if it’s in both places.”

“I wonder what’s happening,” Roger mused before returning to his seat.

“Check the police scanner,” Kaz suggested.

“And get my phone out during work? I can’t believe you’re the one telling me to get my phone out, Mr. Miller.”

“You make me sound so much older when you call me Mr. Miller,” Kaz scolded.

“Yeah, but you don’t want me to call you Kazuhira.”

Kaz shook his head. “Just check the scanner.”

Kaz stayed near the window while Roger scrolled on his phone. Kaz half wondered if he was even checking the police scanner, or if he was just browsing social media like all kids these days. Down on the street, a few people were tackled to the ground in the chaos. Kaz couldn’t help but feel bad for them. Getting trampled? That had to be horrible.

“Maybe we should call 911,” Kaz said. “It looks like people are going psychotic down there.”

“The police scanner is going nuts,” Roger said, not hearing Kaz. “Lots of reports of people wandering around in the street and attacking others. Police have been told to use lethal force if necessary. Apparently, there’s a lot of murders happening.”

Kaz shivered. He desperately hoped that Ahab wasn’t actually out there trying to make it to the office in this mess. “Do they know why it’s happening?”

“It looks like everything’s happening so fast that they can’t get an actual report out. It’s just the basics of what’s happening.”

A bigger woman across from Kaz, Cheryl, was now poking her head up over the desk to listen in. “Did something happen in the government, maybe?”

“Not sure,” Kaz and Roger replied.

She sat back down, but Kaz didn’t hear the clack of her nails against her keyboard. A few other people filtered into the office, some joining Kaz at the window for a few seconds, others going back to their work.

“Could you shut the window?” Cheryl asked after a few more minutes went by. “It’s… unnerving.”

“Yeah,” Kaz mumbled. He closed the window, glad to block out the majority of the sound.

He moved away and sat back down at his desk. He began typing again, trying to get his point across in the most precise way possible. Still, this report was giving him some trouble. He only had one page written. Normally, after nearly two hours, he would have had at least five pages drafted up.

“Excuse me, sir; I don’t believe that this is your floor.”

The floor’s security officer was far off, but close enough to hear. Kaz tuned it out. It happened all the time. People looking for one floor and they ended up on the wrong one. Probably some lost interviewee that was desperately trying to make a good impression and failing.

Roger’s head peeped up over the barrier to glance at the security guard and analyze the situation.

What did grab Kaz’s attention was the garbled scream. He jumped out of his chair immediately, searching for the source. The scream was that of a dying animal, shrieking and howling in pain. Kaz’s eyes locked onto the security guard, and the lost man. Someone had gotten violent with him.

Cheryl turned around in her chair and joined the screaming.

What appeared to be simple violence at first, was anything but. Kaz’s brain stopped thinking altogether. The man had his teeth _in the security guard’s throat_. Before Kaz could think past that, he bolted from his cubicle. Kaz grabbed the nearest weapon he could find, an old light-weight printer, and snatched it from the desk he passed. With lightning speed, Kaz slammed the printer down on the attacking man’s head.

Both he and the security guard crumpled. 

Everyone in the office stared at the scene. Kaz’s chest was heaving as he panted at the sight at his feet. The man who had attacked was missing chunks of his hair, and even larger chunks of flesh as if he had been mauled by an animal.

Kaz stared in horror for a few moments longer before dropping to his knees. He pressed his hands firmly against the security guard’s throat, something Ahab had taught him to do if he ever started bleeding profusely. He needed to keep as much blood inside the man as possible.

“Call 911!” he screeched at the top of his lungs.

All around the office, every smartphone lit up. As if thinking as one, everyone dialed the same number and waited with terrified, baited breath.

“There’s no answer!”

“I’ve got nothing!”

“It’s just ringing!”

“What do you mean there’s no answer!?” Kaz hollered. What the _fuck_!? “Try again!”

Everyone redialed all at once, but still, there was nothing. As Kaz’s coworkers tried and tried, he became more aware of the hot blood seeping through the cracks in his fingers. He was kneeling in a pool of it next to the two men, watching as it soaked his tan pants. Kaz stared down at the security guard. The man’s eyes were trained on Kaz’s, desperate like an animal caught in a cage.

Kaz didn’t know what he was supposed to say to him. Roger was next to Kaz, kneeling down. By then, the blood had stopped seeping between Kaz’s fingers entirely. The man’s chest shuddered, and a rattled groan escaped his lips. Kaz’s fingers trembled as he pulled them away. Hot crimson blood dripped from his fingers and ran down his arms, staining his shirt, too.

“Mr. Miller,” Roger whispered. He put his hands on Kaz’s shoulders and tried to pull him away from the scene, but Kaz couldn’t move. Every muscle in his body was locked up as he stared at the dead men. 

“What…” Kaz’s chest shivered involuntarily. “What just happened…?” he whispered.

“Kazuhira, let’s move away. We need to go somewhere safe,” Roger replied. “It wasn’t your fault, that psycho bit him! You did what you could.”

The security guard groaned. His head rolled, and his milky eyes focused on Kaz. All at once, relief swept through Kaz. He replaced his hands over the man’s throat, desperate to keep what was left in him, in him.

“He’s alive!” Kaz cried, overjoyed.

Roger furrowed his eyebrows. “That’s not…”

With inhuman speed, the man’s neck whipped down. Kaz could swear that he heard each bone in his neck break with the movement. He latched his teeth onto Kaz’s forearm and dug in. Kaz screeched and reeled away from the man. The security guard refused to let go. He was biting down with the strength of a goddamn lion, snarling like a wild animal as he did so. 

“Get off!” Kaz yelled. He writhed and squirmed, but he had no strength compared to the security guard.

The man next to him began to groan as well. Roger stood up without a second’s hesitation and backed away.

“Help me!” Kaz pleaded.

The security guard’s teeth sank in a little deeper. Kaz cried out. As if to make matters worse, the security guard began to shake his head back and forth like a rabid dog. Down to the end of his wits, Kaz kicked at the security guard. He clocked the man in the throat, and he was sent back with the force of Kaz’s kick.

As he went flying back, Kaz was launched onto his back. His head connected with the hard floor of the office, but he didn’t have the time to stop and cry about it. Kaz scrabbled to his feet, just barely avoiding fingers that were grasping desperately for his pantleg. Suddenly aware of his surroundings once more, Kaz realized the office was in chaos. It was as hectic as it was in the streets. People were screaming and scrambling to the window. Cheryl was blocking it as she tried to get out first. Other members of the corporation began hitting her, screaming that she get out of the way.

Kaz made brief eye contact with Roger and then bolted for the stairs at the other end of the room. He took them two at a time, desperate to get to the next floor. It was just as bad as their own.

“The fire escape on the roof!” Kaz called. He could hear Roger’s panting breaths and pounding feet just behind him in the stairwell.

They climbed relentlessly until they got to the roof. Kaz shoved the door open and made his way to the fire escape, but he was starting to feel faint. He glanced down at his right arm. His sleeve was in tatters. It was stained red and flopping all over the place. Kaz grabbed one of the bigger pieces of loose fabric and ripped at it. Pain shot through his body like a white-hot needle.

“Jesus Christ!” Kaz screamed. Shaking like a leaf, Kaz brought his arm up to eye-level. What he thought had been scraps of fabric… was scraps of skin and muscle. Kaz’s stomach churned, and he was thankful that he hadn’t eaten lunch.

“Mr. Miller!” Roger looked just as horrified as Kaz, looking between his arm and his face. “What do we do? Your boyfriend’s a doctor, right? What do we do?”

Kaz’s mouth opened and repeatedly shut as he stared at the wound. Blood was leaking from it profusely. Kaz couldn’t tell if he was going crazy or not, but the skin that bordered the wound seemed to be turning black.

“A, a tour—a tourniquet,” Kaz choked out. It was all Kaz could do to keep his eyes focused on his arm. 

Right arm still extended, Kaz yanked his tie up over his head with his left hand without bothering to loosen it first. He was sure that it messed up his hair but quickly reminded himself that this was no time to be thinking about his hair. He passed the tie over to Roger, who stared at it for a minute before getting what he was supposed to do. He tied it off around Kazuhira’s bicep, tightening it as much as he could.

“Okay, now what?” Roger asked.

“We need to get down,” Kaz replied. He was shaking so badly that he was unsure how his words were understandable. He felt horrible, dragging Roger into the depths of panic with him.

“I’ll go first,” Roger said.

He opened the latch to the fire escape, with far steadier fingers than Kaz could manage, and stepped down onto the ladder. Fighting through the pain in his arm, Kaz did the same. He glanced at the wound. It seemed as though more and more was turning black and blue by the second. He’d lost too much blood. That had to be the answer.

The climb down was uneventful enough until Kaz noticed the people beginning to jump out of windows to escape the building. Kaz set his mouth in a firm line and stared down at Roger instead. As they descended, a larger group of people gathered at the base of the ladder.

“What are they thinking?” Roger hissed. “Get out of the way!” he shouted. 

All heads in the general vicinity turned toward the two men on the ladder.

“Maybe they’re going to catch us if we fall,” Kaz said. “There’s lots of people jumping.”

“Hopefully,” Roger grumbled.

As Roger got closer and closer to the group, Kaz felt sicker and sicker. They… didn’t look like normal people. It made his stomach churn once more. He held it down. What would their rescuers think if Kaz puked on them?

When Roger was within arm’s reach of the tallest person, an arm shot out and grabbed his ankle. Roger’s eyes flashed to Kaz’s for half a second, before he was dragged backward. 

The screaming started immediately. Kaz froze and pressed his body against the ladder as he watched the scene below him unfold. He could still see Roger’s face as the entire group descended upon him. They ripped and shredded everything he was wearing, and then began attacking his skin. 

Roger’s screams were no longer intelligible. What started out as pleading cries became garbled, throaty screaming while Kaz stared as the young man’s _intestines_ were forcibly ripped out of him and gobbled down like an afternoon snack.

Kaz looked from side to side, panicked. What could he do? Roger was screaming, but no words were coming out of him. After only moments, even though it felt like an entire lifetime, Roger was no longer screaming. All Kaz could hear was the sickening squelch of flesh and guts and the groaning of the freaks surrounding Roger’s corpse. Kaz glanced down one last time and heaved up every last bit of coffee that was in his stomach. The noise of him retching and the splatter attracted the attention of some of the group. 

The ones that were on the outside of the group with no access to Roger turned their heads up to Kazuhira. Their mouths hung open dumbly, and their eyes were unnaturally wide and milky. One began to reach up for Kaz, drawing more attention to him. 

Panic set into Kaz tenfold. His thoughts were scattered as he looked side to side, and then up. Certainly, he could just climb the ladder again and barricade the door that led to the stairwell. He could call Ahab and tell him where he was hiding.

A longer arm reached out, and the fingers brushed the bottom of Kaz’s shoe. Reacting solely on fear, Kaz launched himself from the ladder. Kaz didn’t know what he was thinking, didn’t know if he was thinking at all, but he landed square on his feet on the pavement. The impact rang through Kaz like a gigantic bell, and he collapsed to the ground. Kaz’s forehead and nose smacked against the cement, and blood gushed. 

Kazuhira was breathing so hard that he couldn’t process anything else. Everything about his body from the toes up was in unbelievable pain. Kaz pushed himself up onto his hands and knees, wincing at the searing pain in his legs. He turned to look over his shoulder. The ones that had noticed Kaz were now beginning to group up once more. And they were moving. 

Kaz froze like a deer in the headlights.

“Move,” he whispered. They were getting closer to him. “Move!” Kaz shouted.

Only then did his body decide to listen to him. He scampered to his feet through the pain and turned in the other direction. Kaz ran toward the street like a madman. Each step was like liquid metal up to his shins, but there was no way that he could stop now.

Kaz burst into the street, overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people that were flooding by. It wasn’t hard to tell the difference between those who were still, well, normal, and those that were not. Kaz glanced over his shoulder. The few trailing him were moving at a somewhat leisurely pace. At least there was that. None of them seemed to move incredibly fast.

Kaz scanned the street for a familiar face. Didn’t Ahab say he was on his way to the office?

What had Ahab said to him earlier? Kaz wracked his frantic thoughts for something helpful. The usual route. That’s what Ahab had told him. They were going to meet in the middle. Kaz darted in that direction, steering clear of the people that turned to stare at him. Some reached out, but they were shockingly slow. They were nothing like the security guard that had been so quick to bite him.

Kaz was swamped by the other people trying to escape. It was like a stampede, and it was all that Kaz could do to keep from being trampled into the ground. In the distance, he could see a familiar mop of shaggy brown hair, and hear a familiar barking.

“Ahab!” he screamed, forcing his way through the throngs of people.

The mop of hair suddenly perked up.

“Ahab, here!” Kaz yelled.

That time, Ahab must have seen him.

They barreled together with barely any time to slow down their running. Kaz wrapped his arms around Ahab’s middle, clinging to what little sanity the world was offering him.

“Kazuhira! I told you to leave!” Ahab snapped.

“I didn’t know what was happening!” Kaz argued. His fingers brushed over something hard strapped to Ahab’s back. “What the _fuck_? Are you carrying a gun?”

“Multiple,” Ahab corrected, as calm as ever. Although, Kaz knew that look in his eyes. It was like his attacks. He was petrified. “Are you okay? What happened to you? You look like a mess.”

Ahab wrapped his hand tightly around Kaz’s left bicep and began dragging him down the street. Making up for Ahab’s blind spot, Kaz kept his eyes peeled for any more freaks trying to go after them. It was harder than it appeared, trying to discern a scared person from some ravenous monster.

“The security guard on my floor was attacked,” Kaz said. DD trailed after them, right at their heels. Even in the kerfuffle, he stuck close. He skirted around the waves of people as gracefully as he could, biting at heels when someone’s foot got too close to his paws. “I tried to save him.”

Ahab’s hand tightened even more around Kaz’s arm. “ _Are you okay_?” he repeated.

Kaz held up his right arm and watched Ahab turn to look at the wound. His eye grew huge. “Motherfucker bit me like he was some kind of animal.”

“He _bit_ you?” Ahab asked. He stopped walking. Somehow, the flock of people managed to swerve around them. “Was he dead?”

“Ahab, he bit me. Obviously, he wasn’t dead,” Kaz chided. “I know it looks bad, but it’s really nothing to be worried about. We should just get out of here,” Kaz insisted. “I don’t want to risk you getting hurt, too.” While Ahab had given him some semblance of calm, it was washing away. Ahab looked like he’d been told his brother was dead. 

“He bit you…” Ahab whispered. He let go of Kaz’s bicep.

“Yes, Ahab,” Kaz said. He furrowed his eyebrows at Ahab. “Ahab, what’s wrong?”

Ahab hiked his gigantic bag off his shoulders, Kaz had hardly noticed it until then. It looked like the backpack he wore during his days in the army. It was certainly just as full and strapped with weapons as Kaz remembered from pictures. He fished around in it and pulled out a fire axe.

“Ahab…?” Kaz asked, backing up a step. “What’s going on?”

“Kazuhira, I love you so much,” Ahab muttered. He held onto the axe with his right hand. His left reached out and grabbed Kaz’s right hand. He rubbed his thumb over the back of Kaz’s bloodied hand, and then pulled Kaz’s arm away from his body. “I love you so much… I’m so sorry.”

“Ahab? What are you doing?”

Before Kaz had enough time to process what was happening, Ahab swung the axe up and then dropped it down.


	2. Chapter One

John, after trekking out in front of Eva and Adam for thirty minutes, finally returned. He could see right away that Eva was struggling to put one foot in front of the other, but she kept the pain well-concealed. Adam hovered nearby, arms tensed and ready for action, but far enough away from Eva that she wouldn’t scold him for babying her.

John jogged up to Eva, stopping to rest his hands on her swollen belly. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Adam look away dutifully as John pressed a soft kiss to Eva’s lips. 

“Please tell me there’s good news,” Eva said, her mouth in a wry smile.

John nodded, moving one hand up to rest on her cheek. “There’s a place to rest, just twenty minutes from here.”

“Is it safe?” Adam asked. He crossed both of his arms over his chest and frowned at John.

John nodded again. “As safe as anything can be,” he replied. He felt bad for Adam. He wasn’t alone on the journey, but he certainly acted as if he was. John gently rubbed Eva’s belly and then moved to walk beside her.

“Can you make it that far?” he asked, lowering his voice so that Adam wouldn’t hear.

Eva huffed indignantly. “I’m fine, John,” she said. “You can relax.”

John didn’t press the subject farther, but there were obvious signs that Eva was not fine. Sweat was beading thick along her hairline and on the nape of her neck. Each step she took was labored, what with the added weight she was carrying, and John had no doubt that she was sore all over from walking all day.

John shifted his heavy backpack off one shoulder, rummaging through the largest pouch and pulling out their last water bottle. He offered it to Eva, who furrowed her eyebrows.

“You should have it, John,” she said. “You’ve done more than I have.”

John frowned back at Eva. “I would argue that I haven’t. I don’t exactly have something growing inside of me right now.” John paused, looking over Eva. He hated that she tried to put others first, especially in this situation. What was going through her head? “Take it.”

“John, I—“

“For me,” John muttered, refusing to look away from her. 

Eva gave a dramatic roll of her eyes but took the water bottle from John. He watched with a small, self-satisfied smirk as she gulped the water down until it was gone. She passed the bottle back to John, and he tucked it into the backpack to refill when they got the chance.

“Do you need anything, Adam?” John asked.

Adam had fallen back, giving the two of them space to walk comfortably. He seemed less agitated now that John was back with them. John couldn’t blame him. He didn’t know how Adam would manage if John died and it was up to him to take care of a pregnant woman. 

“I’m alright for now,” Adam replied, drawl thick and betraying his evident exhaustion.

John nodded and turned his gaze back to where they were going. They had been walking since that morning, desperate to try and get to Texas. Every which way they looked, there was nothing but bone-dry desert. Cactus, crawling brush, and the occasional tree. For all they knew, they were there already.

After fifteen minutes of walking, John guiding them in the right direction, the trio found a small patch of trees to settle down in. It was too open to be safe at night, but during the day it would work for a few hours of rest. John urged Eva toward one of the trees, knowing that she needed to sit down for a while.

John, one hand on Eva’s lower back, the other grasped tightly around hers, helped her down to the ground to settle against one of the trees. She groaned as she stretched her legs out in front of her. Eva wiggled her ankles side to side, trying to loosen the tension in her legs. John worked his jaw back and forth as he watched her try and get comfortable.

“Do you need anything?” John asked. 

Eva shot him a look. “Stop fretting, John,” she scolded. “I’m pregnant, not dying.”

John frowned. It seemed it was all he could do these days. How was he supposed to _not_ worry? Three months into their journey to Texas and she’d started to show. Adam teased them both to death about it, but it was worrisome. No modern medicine to see if the baby was okay, and nothing at all that they could do for Eva when the time came. Five months in and she looked ready to burst out of her clothes. There was no way to tell when it happened, and no way to tell when the child would be born.

“Go talk to Adam, I’m just gonna close my eyes,” she said, flapping her hand at John dismissively.

John looked over Eva as she did just that. Almost immediately, her breathing smoothed out, and her head dipped to one side. John couldn’t help the small smile that plagued him as he petted down a mussed spot of her short hair. It’d been longer when their journey started, but the three of them agreed that it was safer for her to cut her hair short. The last thing any of them wanted was for her to get a patch of her scalp ripped out. John shouldered off his backpack and left it near Eva’s lighter one.

John glanced around and spotted Adam just past the sparse trees where Eva had taken respite. The sun had been beating down on them all day long, the temperature boiling, and it was all John could do to make sure Eva didn’t pass out from heat exhaustion. He spared one last look at her and then headed toward Adam. He had one hand shielding his eyes from the sun, the other perched on his hip as he scrutinized the city up ahead.

“Where do you think we’re at?” John asked. He crossed his arms as he stared at the sprawling city as well, brows furrowed.

“I’m not sure,” Adam replied. “Somewhere in Arizona or New Mexico.” He brought his hand down from his eyes. “We’re not moving fast enough,” Adam muttered, lowering his voice.

John checked on Eva over his shoulder. “She’s pregnant,” he grumbled back.

“And who’s fault is that?” Adam asked.

John shot Adam a glare, who shot him a smirk back.

After a moment of silence, Adam crossed his arms over his chest. “We should go around the city.”

“You just said that we weren’t moving fast enough,” John chastised. “The city is faster to go through, and then we might be able to find out where we are. What if we’re going in the wrong direction? Plus, there might be a pharmacy with prenatal vitamins.” 

“There’s no way we could get through the city alive,” Adam scolded. He turned to watch John, making sure he caught his eye. “John, like it or not, Eva is slowing us down.”

John curled his nose at Adam. “Are you suggesting we leave her?”

Adam rolled his eyes. “You know that’s not what I’m saying, John.”

John huffed and kicked at the loose dirt beneath his feet. He frowned and stared at the tip of his boot. He knew Adam was right. Eva would be more trouble in the city, even if it were a faster route.

“Although,” Adam began, smirk once again forming, “if we went through the city we could get you some condoms. I don’t think any of us wants to deal with this again after this kid is born.”

John punched Adam’s arm. Adam stumbled back and chuckled under his breath. John couldn’t help but smile back. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and retreated under the trees and into the cool shade.

“I think she’d kill me if I got her pregnant again,” John said, following Adam to a spot beneath the trees.

“How many years of trying and your body only decides to function _after_ the world falls apart?” Adam mocked.

“Shut up,” John grumbled, although he was grinning, too. Fate just loved to kick him into the dirt, and Eva’s pregnancy was no different. John sat down against a tree across from Eva, keeping his knees close to his body.

Adam sat close to him, leaning back on his hands.

They fell into a comfortable silence, John watching Eva and Adam watching John. John never caught his eye, but he knew when he was being watched. Both kept an ear open for any moaning, either from Eva or wandering zombies.

He finally broke the silence, keeping his voice just above a murmur. “I could go through the city alone,” John suggested. “See what I can find while you two go around it.” When Adam didn’t say anything, John sighed and continued. “We’re running low on food. And we’re out of water. We need to stop for supplies eventually.” John turned to look at Adam, his gaze pointedly dropping to the pistols strapped to his hips. “How many bullets do you have left?”

“Nine,” Adam said.

“Eva has three, and I’ve got five. No way that’ll last us.”

“You never know John, maybe they rot in the sun and won’t be a threat,” Adam offered.

Both of them lapsed into silence once more. As nice as that sounded, there was no way it could be true. They’d seen them wander through anything that was in their way. A little desert sun wouldn’t stop them from anything.

“Promise me you’ll protect her?” John asked.

“You make it sound like you’re leaving right now.” Adam narrowed his eyes at John suspiciously, who turned his head away.

“She wouldn’t let me leave; you know that. The sooner I leave, the better. I can get to the other side of the city by nightfall. Maybe by tomorrow morning. Then I’ll circle back on the west side, and meet you two in that housing complex,” John said, vaguely mapping out his direction with his pointer finger. “Hole up in one of the houses. Leave me a signal of some sort. I’ll find you.”

“John, I should be the one to go,” Adam argued.

“No, you shouldn’t be,” John argued right back.

“What happens if you die in there?” Adam scoffed. “Eva will have my head for letting you go. And then what? I don’t exactly know where we’re supposed to meet your brother. ‘Somewhere in Dallas’, that’s real helpful, John,” he drawled. John could always tell when he was annoyed; he dragged his syllables out like a true Southern man. “You expect me to help raise a child? I don’t know anything about them.”

“I don’t either,” John admitted. “We’re not talking about this anymore,” he decided. John stood up and brushed off his pants. He walked carefully over to Eva and hauled his normally-heavy, army-style backpack onto his shoulders. They were lower on supplies than he initially thought.

John turned to Adam, adjusting the straps on his backpack. He clicked the various straps into place across his chest, balancing out the weight distribution. “Remember, you can eat certain cactus fruit. Don’t eat it—“

“Unless we know for sure,” Adam interrupted. “I know, John.”

“And you can always eat snakes if you run out of supplies on the way there,” John said. “Make sure neither of you gets bitten, hold down—“

“The head with a stick before cutting it off and burying it. I _know_ , John,” Adam interjected once more. He paused, and their eyes locked. “You’d better go before she wakes up, John. Or there’ll be Hell to pay.”

John nodded. He hiked the backpack up on his shoulders. “If I’m gone for more than two days, just leave.” He didn’t break eye contact with Adam, hoping it was evident how serious he was. “Don’t put her at risk for my sake.”

John saw Adam’s jaw tighten. He could see each protest in his eyes, but he held his tongue.

“Of course, John,” he agreed.

John let himself give Adam a small smile. “Thank you, Adam. I know it’s not what you want to do. Just… just do it for me,” John said.

With that, he turned and began walking toward the city. He walked at first until he was far enough away that Eva wouldn’t hear him running. John jogged until he was a good ways away, and then turned to look over his shoulder. In the small patch of trees, he could see a lone figure standing, shoulder propped up against one of the trees. Two pistols glinted on his hips. He raised a hand and gave John a short wave.

John waved back and then continued toward the city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to do biweekly updates, but I already had a bunch of this written and I'm weak. Thank you for the support so far ;u;


	3. Chapter Two

John didn’t stop running until he hit pavement. The roads were cracked from a lack of upkeep, and cars scattered the asphalt. Some were clumped together, where traffic had slowed to a dead stop. John assumed the owners abandoned the other cars that were spread out. Out of gas or broken down, probably. John peered into the windows of each car that he passed, looking for anything useful at all.

He wasn’t too thorough with his examination, focused more on getting through the tight spaces as quickly as he could. Each of John’s senses was on high alert, ready to spring into action when he needed to. They’d gone through one city a long time back and had decided as a group that they were just about the worst place to be. What started as a smattering of zombies became a horde before you knew what was happening. John refused to put Eva through that kind of stress ever again, even if she claimed she could handle it. He didn’t want anything to happen to the child she was carrying.

A smaller, more tender part of John, spared a thought for their unborn child. What was it going to be? How were they supposed to raise it? Any noise was dangerous, John couldn’t imagine the hardships of having a crying baby. John frowned. He only hoped that he could take care of it, and keep his family safe.

Hunting knife drawn as he approached the city limits, John spared a glance at the sign displaying the city limits. Albuquerque, New Mexico.

John tensed, and scanned the horizon. It was still light out, so they were less likely to be active. The population count was horrifying. There was no plausible way that five hundred thousand people had gotten out of the city to become zombies somewhere else. John was walking right into a death trap, and he knew it. At least he hadn’t dragged Eva and Adam all the way out here just to make them turn around again. John’s thoughts flickered to Ahab and Kazuhira. How were they faring in New York?

John shook his head to clear all distracting thoughts. He needed to get to apartments or a grocery store. And a pharmacy was definitely on his list. He needed to find medicine for Eva and baby supplies for whenever _that_ happened.

A few stragglers were wandering the streets of the city. At least a hundred of them were out and about. John kept his head low, and his bootfalls as quiet as he could. He ducked behind car after car to avoid being seen and causing a pack to form.

John paused when one spotted him. The movements that were aimless at first suddenly became very pointed. With a groan, the haggard woman shuffled toward John. John flipped the knife in his hand, prepared to strike. He skirted the woman as best as he could, but she was shockingly agile for her state of decay.

When she got too close for comfort, John launched into action. He struck with the hilt of the knife gripped deathly tight in his fingers. The knife lodged into her throat, and black, tar-like blood spewed from the wound. John wrenched the knife out of her esophagus, and then kicked her firmly in the stomach to send her crashing to the ground.

She fell and cracked her head against the asphalt, but she was still groaning and shifting. A few others turned to watch the scene. When they spotted John, something in their brains clicked and they changed direction. John knelt next to the woman and thrust the knife into her skull. He gave it a twist for good measure, and then yanked it out.

John glanced around his surroundings.

“Damn,” he hissed. “Way too many.”

The hundred that had been wandering were now focused on John. As he evaluated the situation, he noticed more and more pouring out from various alleyways and buildings. John was amazed at how quickly they were able to gather and pinpoint a target. He wondered if they were like wolves, amassing on one target to distribute the strain across the pack. John wiped the hunting knife on his pant leg and shoved it back into its sheath. He launched into action, barreling between the various bodies. One managed to get a grip on the backpack, making John stumble.

Delving straight into his military training, John whipped around. He forced the zombie into the tightest chokehold he could manage and fiercely snapped its neck. The force was enough to stun the monster, and John threw it to the ground. John didn’t wait to see how a broken-necked corpse wandered around.

He tore down the street, disregarding the fire in his lungs as he gulped in the scorching air. A pharmacy sign caught John’s attention, and he turned in that direction without a second thought.

John only stopped running when he got to the pharmacy, and he was sure that none of the zombies in the street were following him too closely. Luckily, there were only a rare few that moved faster than a stumbling snail. John bent and rested his hands on his knees, gasping for breath for a few seconds more before wiping the sweat from his forehead.

“Christ,” he grumbled, turning this way and that at his hips to stretch his screaming muscles. John rubbed soothing circles into his knees, frowning at how sore they felt from just a sprint. “Not as young as I thought.”

John caught his breath and looked around the outside pharmacy. A few stragglers here and there, but nothing to be worried about. With cautious steps, John approached the building and peered inside. It looked as though someone had tried to board it up at one point but then gave up halfway through. John shouldered open the door, careful of the damaged glass panels, and stepped inside, scanning the signs overhead that labeled the aisles. His first stop was toiletries, and he grabbed a comb for Eva. It wasn’t necessary, but she had been complaining about John’s, Adam’s, and her own, matted hair for at least a month. There was a single, merciful bar of soap left. John took that, too. Next time they found water to bathe in, no one would reek anymore.

John heard a telltale groaning behind him, but it only sounded like one. Nothing to concern himself with. Concerned or not, John whipped out the hunting knife once more. He could never be too careful. John stalked toward the medicine area of the pharmacy, making sure to keep his head below the shelves. He peeked his head around each corner before moving forward. He scanned the various bottles and boxes, picking through what might be helpful. There was a box of cold medicine on the ground. He snagged that. While a cold wasn’t the worst that could happen anymore, it was better to be prepared. A bottle of lotion, some low-grade painkillers, and headache medicine.

John turned corner after corner through the shelves but was unable to find anything helpful for Eva. He’d managed to stuff a pack of diapers into the backpack, knowing that they would need those sooner rather than later. 

With the pack starting to weigh heavy on his shoulders, and he hadn’t even found food and water, John decided to leave the pharmacy. On his way out, he snatched the sole candy bar behind the cash registers.

Back out in the sunlight, John squinted as he moved through the unfamiliar streets. The sun was halfway between noon and sunset, somewhere around four p.m. if he had to guess. There wouldn’t be much time left before the zombies became more active and were more likely to swarm. 

Across the street, John spotted a couple of cats scurry away from him. He commended them on their survival skills before setting his mind back to the task at hand.

“Wonder if Eva’s up,” he mused. John smirked to himself. “She’s gonna cut Adam’s head off when she finds out.”

John laughed a little at that. He felt bad for subjecting Adam to it, but there was nothing that he could do. It wasn’t as if he could have gone with Adam and left Eva on her own. John shook the terrible thought from his head. He could never abandon her. 

At around sunset, John stumbled upon a grocery store. Across the street was an apartment building. While it wasn’t the best option, with very few routes of escape, it would have to work as his shelter for that night. 

John turned in the direction of the apartments, but just thinking about the food the grocery store could have was making his stomach grumble angrily. John clasped his hand over his gut, willing it to be silent. No such luck; he hadn’t eaten for what felt like days. He put up with his own hunger if it meant that Eva ate a good meal. He constantly had to remind her that she wasn’t just feeding herself anymore. Despite that, John was _starving_.

John groaned, allowing his stomach to dictate the order of actions. He turned on his heel to hit the grocery store first. John cursed himself for his seemingly bottomless stomach. There wasn’t a creature in sight that he could track down and eat, aside from the cats. John thought about retracing his steps but decided against the extra work it would create for him. He didn’t have much time, and cats were fast and elusive. 

He went through the motions of entering a foreign building. Scan for points of entry and exit, count the number of zombies, and then carefully head inside. He went straight for the preserved foods, avoiding the butcher’s area of the store that smelled like death. Along the way, John found a packet of dried banana chips. He ripped it open and munched as he searched the aisles, stashing half of the bag in his backpack for Adam and Eva.

John came across the boxed and bagged food aisle and grabbed everything that he could. Two boxes of crackers, a half-eaten package of chocolate chip cookies, and one bag of chips that had been forgotten at the very back of the shelf.

He turned down the next aisle and began to grab cans off the shelves. Sliced olives—not exactly a meal but food was food—a can of corn, two cans of chili, and four cans of crappy ravioli.

His bag was becoming heavier by the second, but he had yet to find any water bottles. There was some sort of liquid in the cans of olives and corn, but he knew that it wouldn’t be enough to sustain three people crossing the rest of the desert.

A few groans at the entrance of the store. John glanced in that direction. Nearly ten were trying to shove themselves at the same time through the open doors of the store. John hiked the backpack up higher onto his shoulders and began walking faster. There should be at least two emergency exits in case he needed them. One by the butcher’s area, and another through the back part of the store.

Down the final shelf that John checked, was a case of bottled water. He would have killed to take all twelve bottles, but he knew he could only carry so much. In the back of his head, he could hear Eva scolding him for thinking of taking them all. What about the next person that came into the store looking for water?

John huffed. It wasn’t like there was anyone out there who was going to save something for them. John took six of the bottles and stuffed them into the backpack wherever he could. The backpack was getting to be as heavy as the one he had in the military. His shoulders and back were going to kill him the next day. Luckily, once he reunited with Eva and Adam, he could pass half of the supplies to them to trade off and share the load.

Too wrapped up in his thoughts, John froze in the middle of the aisle when he spotted a human move past the end of the aisle. It was quick, only in his field of view for half a second. John’s hand dropped to the knife strapped to his leg. He slid it from the sheath silently and walked at a snail’s pace to the end of the aisle. He glanced both ways before turning right to follow the person.

When John turned the corner, he was met with a gun pointed at his forehead. Instinct took over. John reached out and grabbed the person’s arm in his, and knocked their elbow up to get the barrel pointed elsewhere. The person shouted in pain and reactively pulled the trigger.

The ringing of the bullet was deafening. The silence that followed was worse. And then there was the groaning of a thousand hungry monsters looking for their next meal.

“Don’t move!” John snapped, keeping the other man’s arm tightly in his grip. “If you try and shoot me, I’ll break your arm,” he threatened.

The man’s eyes were wide and panicked. “Look, man! I just want some of the food you stole!”

“Go rob someone else,” John snarled.

He tightened his grip on the man’s arm, waiting for him to cry out before shoving him stumbling back. 

John turned to his left, faced with a herd of stumbling zombies. John turned to his right, and it was the same. Behind him were even more. John had no doubts that the entire store was crawling with them. “You idiot,” John grumbled. “Do you know what you’ve just done?”

The question was rhetorical, but John got an answer that he wasn’t expecting. The man had the gall to hold his gun up to John once more, only this time with the added safety of distance between them. His arm was trembling badly, no doubt from the blow John dealt to his elbow. It hadn’t been intended to break, but now John wished that he had.

“Drop your bag,” he commanded, though his voice was wavering. 

“I don’t have time for this,” John growled. He rolled his shoulders beneath the weight of the bag. The only way out was behind the man. Even that was dangerous, with the swarm surrounding them. Somewhere at the back of the store, an aisle was pushed completely over.

The crashing startled the stranger, and he fired the gun just to John’s left. John didn’t flinch.

“I said drop it!” the man shouted.

“Look, we need to get out of here before we both die,” John growled. He dropped himself into a fighting stance, prepared to launch himself forward at the next sign of provocation. He was wary of the gun, though. “I’ve got people to take care of—a pregnant girl that needs food.”

“You think I fucking care? Give me the backpack!”

John heard the snap of the gun as it was prepared to fire again. He tightened his stance but relaxed his muscles. If this was how this idiot wanted to go out, then fine. Who was John to stop a suicidal man?

John raised his hands above his head and slowly turned around. He knew he didn’t have the time for this. He could see the faces of the zombies in the swarm they gathered in tighter. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to die in a grocery store because of a moron with a gun.

John unshouldered the backpack and tossed it to the ground with a crash. His gun still trained on John, the man lowered himself to grab one strap of the backpack. He glanced furiously between the backpack and John, like a low-ranked dog daring to take from the leader of the pack.

The man grabbed the shoulder strap and attempted to fling the backpack over his shoulder. The weight of it threw him off-balance, and he went stumbling back with a curse. 

An animalistic yell escaping him, John threw himself at the man. He tackled the stranger to the ground and had the gun skittering away from them. John spared a moment to pity the bullets that were sent past the point of no return in the crowd of zombies and turned back to the stranger.

He had his knife out with lightning speed and was able to successfully ignore Eva’s voice in his head, scolding him once again. He had to do this to protect his family. John drove the knife down and sank it right between the man’s eyes. John wrenched it back and scrambled to the backpack. He hauled it onto his shoulders, all the while keeping his eyes on the herd that was mere inches away. 

A hand reached out and fingers brushed his sleeve just as John got the backpack on and began running. He didn’t dare look over his shoulder, but he could hear the sounds of the crowd surging on the dead body to get whatever they could from the man.

John bolted through the building, disregarding the weight on his shoulders, and burst out the back exit of the grocery store. An old alarm, one that John was amazed still worked, began to ring out. John looked left and right as he kicked the door shut behind him. Zombies on either side of him. All the racket he was making drew their attention, and they surged forward with speed and grace John wouldn’t have associated with the dead.

With nowhere left to go, John turned around and began to scale the ladder to the roof of the building. A few of the zombies below tried to follow, but none of them had the proper coordination to scale something vertical.

John skittered up the ladder as quickly as he could. The sun was past the horizon, leaving him in the last dregs of light as he ran to the edge of the roof. 

John’s heart plummeted to his feet.

Around the base of the grocery store, and in every single street that John could see for miles, appeared to be all five hundred thousand residents of the city.


	4. Chapter Three

“DD, sit,” Kaz said. 

DD barked at Kaz, eyeing the can in Kaz’s left hand. The dog dropped to his belly and pawed his way closer to Kaz. There was already more of the chili missing than there should have been. Ahab had an endearingly—wait, annoyingly—soft spot for his dog.

“I said sit,” Kaz repeated.

DD whined and rolled over onto his back. His tongue lolled as he stared up at Kaz pleadingly.

“Yeah?” Kaz asked, staring down at DD. The dog didn’t even break his gaze. “If you’re not going to listen to me, then you’re not going to get anything from me,” Kaz scolded. Though he had to admit, that face sure was cute when he wanted to be.

Ahab sat across from Kaz, shotgun perched across his knees and at the ready. They’d taken shelter a few miles outside of the city up ahead, but there was no telling how far the dead would wander. They were more active at night but were less likely to swarm and be a major threat when there were no buildings or tight corners around.

“DD up,” Ahab said. DD obeyed instantly. “Sit.” DD planted his butt on the ground, still staring at Kaz with those big eyes. He reached out and put a paw on Kaz’s knee, whining at him. “Now can he get something?” Ahab asked.

Kaz huffed, more than a little off-put at how well DD listened to Ahab. “Why doesn’t he listen to me when I tell him to do something?” Kaz asked, avoiding the question. “Besides, he’s a dog, Ahab. He shouldn’t be getting people food.”

“What else is he supposed to eat?” Ahab asked.

As if agreeing with his owner, DD lifted his paw and then set it down on Kaz’s knee again. Even through Kaz’s pants, the pads of his paws were rough. He was no longer the soft puppy he used to be, although he was still overly cuddly at night.

“I know you have a five-pound bag of dog food in that bag of yours, Ahab,” Kaz chided. He pointed his finger accusingly at Ahab. “You spoil him.”

“How can I say no to that face?” Ahab asked. He looked at DD, who gave Kaz another high-pitched, pleading bark. “Besides, we’re almost to Texas,” Ahab said. “Then we won’t have to worry about how much food we give him.”

“Are we even sure that John and Eva are going to be there?” Kaz asked cautiously. Ahab set his lips in a tight line. Kaz knew it was a tender subject. “It’s been months, Ahab,” he continued, softer that time. “They might not be alive anymore, Ahab… They could think that we’re dead.”

“Even if they did think that they would still meet up where we decided,” Ahab said, leaving no room for argument. He gave Kaz a serious look. It ruffled Kaz’s feathers the wrong way, but he backed off.

“You and your brother are the only people I know that had a whole plan set up in case something like this happened,” Kaz said. He tipped the can of chili back, gulping past the overuse of salt and the fact that it was burnt in places from being left in the fire for too long. “Why did you bother preparing for something like this? What were the chances?”

“Apparently very good,” Ahab said. He stretched his back out and then stood up. “You should get some rest, Kaz. I’ll wake you up when it’s your turn.”

“You’ll actually wake me up, right?” Kaz warily asked.

Ahab shrugged sheepishly. “If I remember.”

“ _Ahab_ ,” Kaz scolded. “You can’t keep pulling all-nighters, or you’ll pass out during the day. What will happen then?”

“I went through worse in the military,” Ahab reminded him.

Kaz shrugged back at Ahab, fixing him with his best serious stare. “Only now you don’t have an army behind you for support. Didn’t you say a long time ago that this is about teamwork? We need each other to get through this,” he said. Kaz opened his mouth to say more but then shut it. His cheeks were already burning with the cheesy admission. _I need you_ , he thought, staring at Ahab and trying to convey the message without words.

Ahab stared back and then nodded. He began to kick dirt over the fire as Kaz finished the last of the chili.

“I’ll wake you up at midnight,” Ahab said.

“Thank you,” Kaz replied.

He waited until Ahab turned his back to set down the can of chili for DD to lick the scraps out of. Kaz patted between his ears, and then watched in horror as DD grabbed the can between his teeth, and took it over to Ahab to eat near him.

Kaz could hear the smirk in Ahab’s voice. “What’cha got, DD?”

“He stole it from me!” Kaz announced. He turned onto his side, just in case Ahab had secret night vision. No one was going to see how embarrassed he was. Why did DD have to give him away like that? After a while of stewing in his thoughts, Kaz faded off to the sound of the trees rustling nearby, and Ahab’s soft breathing.

 

DD pushed his cold, wet nose against Kaz’s cheek, rousing him from sleep. Kaz cracked his eyes at the dog, who had his tail up and alert. He looked down at Kaz, whining high in his throat, and then turning his head up to something in the distance.

Kaz groaned and shoved his palm into his eyes. It was just before dawn; the sky was still dark in places, but beginning to turn a pale shade of blue. A few birds were tweeting in the trees that dotted their campsite that night.

DD pawed at Kaz’s arm and whined.

“DD, what is it?” Kaz grumbled. “Where’s Ahab?”

Kaz pushed himself up onto his arm. He looked across the dead fire. Ahab was sitting up, but his head was dipped forward. Kaz smiled softly. The big dope had gone and fallen asleep on his watch. Kaz’s brows furrowed. That wasn’t a good thing.

DD pawed at Kaz again. He began to pace back and forth, his tail held high. His lip curled, but he wasn’t growling. Kaz lifted himself up to a sitting position. He was still groggy—closer to dead tired—but Ahab had told him long ago to trust DD’s instincts. He was the best warning that they could ask for.

The birds that had once been chirping were now silent.

Kaz heard a groaning somewhere in the distance, but close enough to be a threat. DD’s ears flicked up at the sound.

Before he could even think, Kaz stumbled wearily over to Ahab. Kaz shook his shoulder vigorously. He knew that it wasn’t the best way to get Ahab out of a deep sleep, but it needed to be done. He glanced over his shoulder, just in time to see DD scamper away from a zombie that was closing in. Behind it, were two others.

“Ahab!” Kaz hissed. “Get up!” 

Ahab groaned. His head rolled to the other side. If it weren’t for his chest rising and falling, Kaz would have thought he was dead.

“Ahab!” Kaz shouted.

His voice was drowned out by the sound of a bullet being fired. Ahab was awake in less than a second.

“Get down!” Ahab yelled. He dragged Kaz to the ground, not concerned by the way Kaz’s chin smacked and scraped against the hard dirt. He held one hand over Kaz’s head, keeping him down low.

“No, get up!” Kaz argued. He wiggled his way out of Ahab’s grip and shoved himself upright. Ahab gave him a horrified look from the ground, but then registered the zombies shambling in their direction. 

He got to his feet and took the offered backpack from Kaz. While he shouldered his and connected the buckles, Kaz looped a side bag over his head, and then grabbed Ahab’s hand. Ahab gave his hand a firm squeeze before they ran in the opposite direction of the zombies.

They didn’t stop until they left the small grove of trees, barely a forest, far behind them. Kaz collapsed to his knees, wiping away the crusty blood on his chin and neck with the back of his sleeve. Ahab stood beside him, and DD just a few feet away, keeping watch. 

“Great,” Kaz grumbled. “We just lost… a lot of ground.” He glanced back at the trees. They were at least half a mile away.

“Did you… did you fire the gun?” Ahab asked, still breathless from the run.

“You think I could fire… a gun like this?” Kaz scoffed, gasping for air. Neither of them was extremely out of shape, but it had been a long time since their last proper meal that consisted of more than half a can of food. 

Ahab shook his head. He settled down with his back against a large rock, leaning his head back. Kaz frowned at the dark circles under his eyes. He knew Ahab was straining himself for Kaz’s sake. Part of it made Kaz’s blood boil. Just because he was missing an arm didn’t mean he was helpless!

“You should sleep,” Kaz said to him.

Ahab cracked his eye open, two very different blue eyes locking. “I don’t need to sleep, Kaz. Besides, if someone was in that forest with a gun, we should keep moving. We don’t want them to find us.”

“We’re far away from there now,” Kaz argued. He glanced back at where they came from. It was nothing but a green smear in the distance. “No one’s going to follow us that far, Ahab.”

Kaz settled himself into a more comfortable position, able to see for miles all around them. “Please sleep,” Kaz insisted.

Ahab smiled at him. “Are you worried about me, Kaz?”

Kaz furrowed his eyebrows at Ahab. “Of course I’m worried about you,” he muttered. He saw the shock briefly pass over Ahab’s features. Kaz knew it wasn’t often that he said things like that, but this was a serious situation. “Besides, you fell asleep on your watch last night. What if something had happened, Ahab?”

Ahab closed his eye, forfeiting the fight before it started. “Don’t let me sleep for too long,” he said. Kaz could already hear the twinges of sleep creeping back into his gravelly voice.

“Okay,” Kaz said. He had no intent of keeping his word, and he was sure that Ahab knew it, too. Why would Kaz wake him up after expressing such displeasure about his lack of sleep?

Once Kaz was sure Ahab was sound asleep once more, he clicked his fingers at DD. The dog roused from his spot in the dirt and trotted over to Kaz. Kaz used a hand on DD’s shoulder to stand, and then walked with him away from Ahab. Kaz paused when he saw something in the patch of trees they came from. He squinted his eyes in that direction, cursing his already-poor vision for making it harder to spot whatever it had been. Kaz stared for so long that his and DD’s shadows grew longer as the sun stretched behind them.

After a while of nothing, Kaz pursed his lips and turned back to Ahab. He settled in next to his warm body, leaning his head on Ahab’s shoulder. DD stretched out lazily at their feet, shifting this way and that before finally settling himself with his chin atop his front paws. 

Kaz glanced back at the forest, furrowing his eyebrows. If he hadn’t been mistaken, it’d looked like the light of the sun glinting on something in the trees. There was no way to know, now. Probably just a bird that had picked up something shiny.


	5. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second update because it's my birthday? :3c

Kaz busied himself with practicing tying his shoes with one hand. Even after months, the ability evaded him. For some reason, his five fingers just weren’t enough. What he desperately needed was his second arm again. 

Kaz frowned, his whole mouth suddenly tasting very sour. If Ahab hadn’t—no, Kaz shook his head. If he had just listened to Ahab in the first place, instead of worrying about his stupid job, then he wouldn’t be in this situation.

He tried for another few minutes before scrapping the idea of getting his laces done properly. There was no use. Besides, it wasn’t like Ahab minded helping him. Part of Kaz knew that Ahab moped so much about his arm was because he blamed himself.

Kaz pulled his feet closer to his body and used his hand on Ahab’s shoulder to push himself up. In a flurry of limbs, DD was at his side with his tail wagging. Kaz carefully pushed a few strands of hair out of Ahab’s face. As delicately as he could, Kaz peeled back his eyepatch and set it just to the side of Ahab’s legs, hoping to ease the soreness of Ahab’s skin later.

When Ahab didn’t budge, Kaz’s heart leaped into his throat. He knew that nothing had happened, and the logical side of his brain told him that Ahab couldn’t have died. He was simply exhausted from pulling all-nighter after all-nighter.

Despite the reassuring thoughts, Kaz put his fingers against Ahab’s throat. His pulse was there, strong and steady. Kaz let out the breath he didn’t know that he was holding.

“C’mon, DD,” he whispered. 

DD fell in line just ahead of Kaz as he walked away from Ahab. He settled again a few feet away from Ahab, overlooking the scenery. The city up ahead wasn’t too far away, but they still had a lot of ground to cover. Kaz glanced at DD as the dog sank into a low hunting crawl. Kaz couldn’t see anything, but obviously, DD found something interesting. 

Kaz sat down on the flattest part of a jagged rock and dug the toe of his boot into the lush grass. DD, somewhere to his right, stalked into a taller portion of grass. 

“What I wouldn’t give for a map,” Kaz mumbled. Their journey had started with multiple maps, but when something had to be left behind in a rush, the maps were usually the first to go. Kaz leaned back on his hand, glancing up at the sky. The sun was bright, and it was the peak of summer, but the temperature was surprisingly tolerable. 

“DD!” Kaz called, now only able to see the rustling of the tall grass and the tips of his ears. “Don’t go too far!” he scolded. 

Deciding to listen, DD pranced out of the tall grass and to Kaz with something held tight between his jaws. Kaz pursed his lips and held out his hand for DD’s gift.

“I swear, DD, if this is another gopher,” he warned.

DD whined at Kaz around his catch and promptly deposited a grimy old tennis ball into his waiting palm. It only took a second of Kaz staring at it with an incredulous look before DD dropped down, his rump wiggling in the air excitedly.

“You found a ball way out here?” Kaz asked. He couldn’t help but smile. He should have seen this coming from DD. He was just a dog, after all. “I’m no good with my left hand,” Kaz told him.

DD tilted his head at him. Either way, Kaz wound back his arm and tossed the ball as hard as he could. DD took off after it like a lightning bolt. While DD was off searching, Kaz looked back at Ahab. Perfectly sound asleep. He had slumped down the rock somewhat, his head leaning against the top of his backpack. 

DD returned with the ball, and Kaz threw it a second time. DD tore off into the tall grass, leaving a wake behind him as he ran. Kaz sat on the rock for a while, kicking at the grass and watching the bugs float around him in the air. After a few minutes, when DD didn’t return right away, Kaz felt a pang of fear course through his body. That damn dog, making him worry. Kaz glanced over his shoulder at Ahab. Nothing out of place.

Kaz stood up and began walking in the direction threw the ball. He didn’t hear any whining or barking, so he at least knew that something wasn’t attacking DD. That quelled some of his fears before they could turn into full-blown panic. 

Kaz found DD in the taller grass; his back left paw lifted off the ground. He set it down gingerly when Kaz approached but picked it up right away again.

“Got something in your foot?” Kaz asked, approaching him. He sat down behind DD and took his paw in his palm. “It’s just a thorn, DD,” he scolded. DD whined at him as if he knew that Kaz was poking fun. “You’re such a baby,” Kaz teased. He set DD’s paw down on his knee, so the pad was facing up, and worked out the thorn.

Kaz expected him to run off as soon as the thorn was out, but DD circled a few times. In the grass. He snuffled at the ground, and then at the air. Kaz glanced around, but he couldn’t see anything that might be pulling DD’s attention. And then he realized that something was missing from the scene.

“Where’s your ball?” Kaz asked, standing up once more. “Do you need help finding it?”

DD snorted at Kaz and pawed at the ground. He took a few steps forward and then turned to look over his shoulder. Kaz frowned. 

“We’re not leaving yet, DD,” he mumbled. “Ahab is sleeping. Let’s go back.” He rounded on his heel, but DD barked insistently at him. Kaz groaned. “DD, stop barking!” he hissed. “Get going,” he said, shooing DD with his hand. “Go show me what it is.”

DD spun a happy circle and then began trotting along in front of Kaz. They walked for a while, but Kaz couldn’t hear Ahab calling for them if he had noticed them gone; or if he had woken up at all. Just thinking about it made the blood drain from Kaz’s face. He was just sleeping, that was all it was. 

DD took Kaz to a flatter patch of grass and pranced over to his tennis ball. Were it not for the recent fire pit that was still smoking, and an empty water bottle, save for a few drops, Kaz wouldn’t have given the clearing a second thought. It was safely tucked away next to a gigantic, swooping tree with dangling leaves. Kaz turned in a cautious circle, examining the area closely.

“Hello?” he called. “This is my dog, I’m sorry if he scared you,” he continued. Although, Kaz had no idea if the person was still nearby or had taken off at first sight of DD. “We’ll get going now,” he added. “DD, let’s go,” he whispered.

Kaz left the area posthaste and was thankful for DD to guide him back through the tall grass and to where Ahab was. Kaz frowned and approached him. It was hard to tell the time out here, but certainly, more than a few hours had passed since Ahab first sat down to sleep. 

Kaz sat in front of Ahab, and cautiously put a hand on his cheek. Ahab’s eyelids fluttered, and he finally managed to crack them open. Kaz was used to the sight of his milky, dead eye, but it didn’t make it any less unnerving that it seemed to look off in the wrong direction.

“Kaz?” he croaked.

“Yeah, Ahab.” Kaz scooted a little closer, glad that he hadn’t startled Ahab awake. “Are you feeling okay?” He brought the back of his hand up to Ahab’s forehead, frowning at what he felt. “You have a fever, Ahab.”

Ahab nodded and closed his eyes again. He heaved a sigh. “Probably just caught a cold.”

“And whose fault is that?” Kaz chided. “I told you not to stay up all night long. I can do my fair share of the work.”

Ahab nodded again, and it rubbed Kaz the wrong way. 

“The city isn’t far away,” Kaz said. “I could go and find cold medicine. It’ll make it easier on both of us if you’re not run down.”

Ahab shook his head. He sat up and pulled his backpack off his shoulders. He rummaged through the bag and found a bottle of DayQuil at the very bottom. The plastic was smashed and crushed where it had been forgotten about at the bottom. Just the sight of the orange ooze made Kaz curl his nose.

“You were prepared for just about anything, weren’t you?”

“The end of the world doesn’t mean the beginning of the invincible human immune system,” Ahab said. He uncapped the bottle and tossed back a mouthful of orange sludge. 

Every hair on Kaz’s body stood on end, and he shuddered. “You’re not human if you can drink that stuff without vomiting.” 

“It’s not so bad,” Ahab retorted. He recapped the bottle and shoved it back down into the depths of his backpack. This time when he pulled his hand out, he had another can of chili. DD was at his side in a second, ready to start begging.

“John used to do that, too. He wasn’t human, either.”

As Ahab fished in his pocket for his knife, an awkward silence fell. Kaz cursed himself for even thinking to bring him up, especially when using past-tense. It always made things uncomfortable with questions left unanswered. Was John actually on his way? Was he alive? How were they ever going to know? Plus, there was the added weight of just how well Kaz knew John before he and Ahab started dating.

“We’re meeting him at your guys’ old home, right?” Kaz asked, hoping for something else to distract from the tension. It was still about John, but hopefully, a more positive outlook on things would make it a better conversation. He could feign ignorance for the time being if it saved them an argument.

Ahab nodded. “It’s an old farmhouse. Perfectly self-sustainable. Away from people.”

“Sounds like something you two would enjoy,” Kaz teased. “Neither one of you have ever been one for people.”

Ahab cracked a small smile at that. He rounded up a few twigs and some dry grass with Kaz’s help, and they had a small fire crackling in no time. Ahab set the can of chili to the side of the fire, letting it heat up before they ate it.

“We didn’t exactly have anyone to teach us how to make friends,” Ahab said. “Straight to the military for both of us.”

Kaz nodded and kept his mouth shut. He knew the past was a tender subject for Ahab. Kaz scooted closer to Ahab, settling in against his side. Ahab’s arm draped over Kaz, pulling him in tighter. At first, Kaz was happy enough watching the fire spark, and the sunset to their left, but there was a gnawing in his belly that would not be satiated just with Ahab’s arm around his shoulders.

Kaz adjusted himself, turning into Ahab’s body and sitting up straighter. He pressed his lips to Ahab’s cheek, just below his eye, and then the corner of his lips, and then his mouth. At first, Ahab was as stiff as a board. Kaz was mere milliseconds away from giving up when Ahab’s lips began to move against his. Kaz practically moaned against his mouth. How long had it been? They were both constantly too on edge, just waiting for the next bad thing to happen to them.

When Ahab’s lips opened, even just slightly, who was Kaz to say no? He opened his mouth in turn; bad breath be damned. Both of them smelled close to walking sewage pipes, but Kaz found he couldn’t care less about it.

Kaz’s hand, perched on Ahab’s chest at first, slinked down to the waistband of his pants. No sooner had he gotten a finger under the hem had Ahab pushed him back. Kaz fought the urge to pout like a petulant child.

“I’m sorry, Kaz,” he mumbled. “I… can’t. Not tonight.”

Kaz nodded. His mouth was set in a tight line, but he relaxed once more against Ahab’s side. “That’s okay,” he said. He tucked his head against Ahab’s chest. “I probably can’t either.”

Ahab didn’t seem to believe him, but he didn’t say anything about it.

It was burnt chili for dinner again.


	6. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, life happened. Sorry for the really late update.

Kaz frowned at the city that sprawled in front of them. He wholly hated the idea of going in, especially while Ahab was still clinging onto whatever flu he had contracted. DD was a few feet ahead of them to act as their early warning signal. The trees and shrubs that lined the streets were overgrown, and it made it harder to see any that might be crawling around on the ground.

Above, birds were making their rounds. At least there was one good sign. If there were animals that were at ease, there was a good chance that there wasn’t a huge swarm of zombies waiting just around the corner. When he spotted them, DD jovially chased a few cats, and then returned to Ahab and Kaz with a proud look on his face. Ahab ruffled him between the ears, and then returned his attention to where they were going.

They made the usual rounds. Grocery store, hardware store, and pharmacy. Luckily, this city had a gun shop in it, and it allowed for them to stock up. Kaz had a gun on him, but he had yet to try it out without two hands to hold it steady. It was strictly for emergencies only. 

In the store, Kaz browsed the small selection of weapons that he could use with just one hand. Ahab stood over his shoulder, hovering.

“Another knife would be best,” he mumbled. Despite clearing the store, neither of them had the courage to speak much louder than a whisper. “Something without a serrated edge, so that it’s easier to remove.”

Kaz nodded. “I’ve still got the one that I’ve had the whole time,” Kaz said. “It’s chipped, but it still works.”

He saw Ahab’s mouth twitch into a frown, but he didn’t press the matter.

After leaving the weapons store, with Ahab’s guns fully loaded, and then some, they walked down the street and, after a brief glance at Ahab’s compass, in the general direction of Texas.

“John is a lucky bastard,” Kaz said after a while of walking in silence. DD was at ease, so he didn’t feel too worried about talking. “He started in California. That’s half of what we had to travel.”

“But we didn’t go through the desert,” Ahab countered. “He could have gone up and around it, but it would make more sense to go straight through. Save as much time as possible and get home as quickly as he could.”

Kaz nodded, making brief eye contact with a zombie and then moving to Ahab’s other side. Ahab was better when it came to dealing with the various threats that surrounded them. Guilt chewed at the inside of Kaz’s gut. If he could shoot a gun or swing an axe, he could be much more helpful.

“How do you think John will react?” Kaz asked.

“About what?” Ahab asked back.

“About my arm.”

Ahab frowned harder than he usually did. “Kaz, look, I’m sorry about that.”

“That’s not what I meant, Ahab,” Kaz argued, although he knew that some part of him _did_ mean it like that. “Just forget it.”

He heard Ahab let out a cropped sigh, but he obligingly let it go. 

They walked for a while longer until they came across a park in the middle of the city. Kaz’s stomach was growling insistently, and he could tell that Ahab was hungry too. Now and then, his hand would come up to rub at his side. He’d drop it soon after that, but it was a sure sign that he was just as famished.

“We should sit down for a while,” Kaz said. 

Ahab looked around the area nervously. “I don’t know, Kaz…”

“Ahab, there’s plenty of places to run to if we get in a jam. Besides, DD’s about as calm as can be. We’ve seen, what? Ten all day long?”

Ahab shifted his weight from foot to foot. He continued looking around the area before giving a hesitant nod. They meandered into the park, Ahab peering around every piece of the playground set as if something would come jumping out at any given moment.

Kaz settled down on a park bench that was tucked out of the way. After a while of clearing things, Ahab sat next to him, although kept a professional distance. Kaz ignored the stab straight to his heart as he glanced down at the gap between their legs. DD pranced around the grass for a while, digging here and there before he settled himself underneath the bench. 

“It’s kinda nice,” Kaz mused. “When was the last time we got to relax like this?”

Ahab shrugged. Despite their current safety, he removed his pistol from the backpack, and set it on his lap. 

“What do you want to eat?” Kaz asked, trying to pry something out of Ahab.

Ahab shrugged again. Kaz set his mouth in a firm line and scooted closer to Ahab. He dug around in the huge backpack and found a package of beef jerky. He ripped it open with his teeth and offered the bag to Ahab. Ahab took one piece and chewed on it thoughtfully.

Kaz furrowed his eyebrows at Ahab, wondering just where his appetite had gone. Kaz set the bag of jerky between them, munching on his piece. After only a few seconds of chewing on the jerky, Ahab tossed his piece to DD, who snapped it up in a heartbeat. They went on like that for a while, with Ahab staring out into nothing. 

When Kaz noticed the sun crawling closer to the horizon, he stood up and brushed off his hand on his pants.

“Let’s go, Ahab. We don’t want to be here at night.”

Ahab nodded mutely. It bothered Kaz to see him so wrapped up in his thoughts, but there was nothing he could do about it. He had learned a long time ago just to keep his mouth shut, and let Ahab think. As long as he didn’t start panicking, there was no real harm in it when he zoned out. 

Once Ahab was up and ready to go, Kaz picked the direction the sun was going and walked that way. He didn’t know the exact direction they were meant to go, but he knew that Texas was west of New York, and that’s what he was going to judge it by. 

DD stuck close to Ahab’s side, there to receive an occasional, distanced pat. Kaz, on Ahab’s other side, kept his eyes peeled. When Ahab was out of it, it was up to him to keep them safe.

There was no trouble for a while until they began to reach the center of the city. Only then did Kaz begin to worry. There was a troubling number of zombies every which way he looked. He guided Ahab away from the larger groups, intent on keeping them as safe as he could for as long as possible. 

Kaz turned corner after corner, no longer focused on the direction they were going and instead on getting away. After so many turns, Kaz found himself in the middle of an intersection. Cars littered the street and made it hard to move around. In every direction, no matter where Kaz craned his neck, there were zombies. They were flooding out of buildings, far more active now that the sun was nearly set. While unaware of their presence, for now, Kaz knew it wouldn’t stay that way for long. He ushered Ahab toward a tall truck and urged him to get on top of it. Once Ahab was safely up, Kaz grabbed DD by his collar and hauled him up as best as he could. DD was heavy, but he scrabbled with all of his legs until he found purchase and got himself up onto the truck next to Ahab.

Kaz followed them, wishing that he had someone to reach out a hand and help him. He kicked his way up onto the hood of the truck, but not before a vice closed around his ankle. 

DD was up and snarling in a minute, barking ferociously at the man that had grabbed Kaz. Panicked, Kaz let out a yell and kicked with his other leg at the man who was missing an entire half of his face. No doubt it had been chewed off long ago. With DD’s barks echoing for miles around, every head turned in the direction of the pickup truck.

“Ahab!” Kaz shouted. He landed one good kick on the man and was able to dislodge him. Soon enough, there was another in his place. Kaz got a little farther up onto the truck. The second one was only able to grab hold of the center of his boot, but the grip was like quicksand. The more Kaz fought, the tighter the zombie seemed to hold.

“Ahab, snap the fuck out of it!” Kaz demanded.

Ahab’s eye, glassy all day long, finally seemed to focus on Kaz. He glanced around their surroundings, confused and startled, but then leaped into action. He grabbed Kaz around his middle and hauled him up the rest of the way. Pressed tightly together, they stood on the roof of the truck, crammed in with DD beside them. He was still furiously barking and snarling, but it was too late to tell him to stop. Everyone in the city knew exactly where they were. 

“Kaz, Kaz are you okay?” Ahab asked both hands on either side of Kaz’s face.

Kaz nodded, though his racing pulse would tell him otherwise. “Yeah, I’m okay,” he said, breathless with fear. “What do we do now?” He asked, eyes scanning the area.

The gaps between the cars were crammed full of zombies. In every direction, there were more gathering. Kaz couldn’t keep track of them all, let alone the ones that were closest to them. Where he could, Ahab squashed a hand that managed to brush the top of the truck, careful to avoid DD’s toes. 

The back gate of the truck was starting to rattle and groan as more zombies pressed their weight on it. Soon enough, they’d have it down and would have another access point to their intended prey.

“I don’t know,” Ahab said after a while. The screeches and groans were overwhelmingly loud. It was hard enough just to hear their thoughts.

Kaz turned around as much as he could, looking for anything that could be of help. There wasn’t much around them, and there was no way that they could fight their way out of the horde. There were far too many to even think of that as a viable option. 

“I’m sorry,” Ahab whispered, his arms still tight around Kaz.

If it weren’t for the feeling of Ahab’s breath against his ear, Kaz might have thought that he didn’t hear anything at all. 

“It’s not your fault,” Kaz replied. He had long since forgone saying ‘it’s okay’ because, in situations like this, it wasn’t okay. Either way, he couldn’t blame Ahab for the problems that he had. 

DD yelped, tearing both of them out of their thoughts. Ahab was the first to react, diving down to grab DD and try and pull him away from the zombie that had managed to grab his leg. 

Just as Kaz dropped to his knees, knife at the ready, a second zombie reached out and latched its hand onto DD’s face. Its nails dragged mercilessly down DD’s face as Ahab ripped DD out of the grasp. DD was howling and screaming in pain, writhing nonstop in Ahab’s arms. Blood gushed from his face, and he scrambled desperately to get out of Ahab’s strong arms. 

Kaz, kneeling on the roof of the truck, struck his knife into the head of the nearest Zombie that grabbed DD. As he yanked the knife back, the momentum sent him backward. A hand wrapped in Kaz’s hair. Kaz barely had a second to look up at Ahab, fear, and panic flooding both of them, before the hand pulled as hard as it possibly could. Kaz screamed, twisting his body like a fish out of water to escape the firm grasp. 

He felt something _rip_ on the back of his head, followed by more screaming. He could hardly tell what was his agony, and what was DD’s. 

And then there was the deafening sound of a bullet fired from close range. Blood splattered all over Kaz’s face. He was still in extreme pain, but he froze. Had he been shot? Ahab, thinking the same thing, dropped to his knees.

“Kaz!” he shouted. One arm still around DD, who had gone still with shock, he used his other to haul Kaz up. “Where are you shot? Kaz!” he snapped. He patted Kaz down, who could barely think past his panic.

Another shot and they both froze. More blood sprayed. Kaz could tell that Ahab was shouting at him, but he couldn’t tell what was being said. Desperate to find the source, Kaz’s eyes blearily tracked through the crowd of zombies. Now attracted by the sound of bullets, they all turned in one direction. It made it easy enough for Kaz to find the source, despite his muddled thoughts. He registered Ahab shoving him off the roof of the truck, one hand wrapped tightly around his bicep, as the bullets rained down on them, one after the other. 

After what felt like hours, Kaz saw the girl. She was on the second floor of some shop at a corner of the intersection, the butt of a sniper rifle pressed tightly to her shoulder. She took the recoil like a champ, and she reloaded the gun with ease and practice that screamed military training. 

Her eyes locked with Kaz’s, and he was afraid that she was going to shoot them. She did the opposite, creating a path through the bodies for them to traverse. When she, presumably, ran out of rifle bullets, she swung the gun over her shoulder and reached for a pistol attached to her hip. Kaz could have sworn that she practically leaped out of the building, jogging to catch up to them. She continued to clear the area for them, but with each bullet sent flying, Kaz felt Ahab tense against his side.

Kaz didn’t know how long their guardian stayed with them, but when they got out of the city, she vanished. Kaz wondered if she had been real at all. Caught in a daze much like Ahab’s, Kaz allowed Ahab to drag him through the cars and the underbrush and into the fields surrounding the city. He kept on walking until the moon was high above them. Only when Ahab deemed it safe did they stop. He sat Kaz down on a rock and lowered DD next to them. If it weren’t for his nonstop whining and crying, Kaz would have thought they lost him.

Ahab dropped his backpack off his shoulders and began digging through it. Kaz, exhausted and frightened, closed his eyes and let Ahab take over.


	7. Chapter Six

Kaz wasn’t sure when he had drifted off, but he woke to a gentle tapping against his cheek and a slight shake of his shoulder. He groaned and rolled his head from side to side. He had no idea if he was sitting up or laying down, but either way, he was incredibly dizzy. His whole head was throbbing, and he wondered just how much he’d drunk to have become so hungover.

“Kaz, stay awake, okay?” a soothing voice prodded.

Kaz rolled his head again, attempting to give some sort of a nod. 

“Good,” the voice whispered.

Barely a second later, and there was the same gentle tapping against his cheek. Kaz’s stomach roiled when he was brought back into consciousness. He felt sick to his bones. Kaz turned to the side, hoping he was turning away from his body and heaved up the contents of his stomach. His entire left side suddenly felt soaked, and the smell of vomit wafted up to his nose. A quiet sigh, and then someone was wrestling him out of his clothes. Kaz barely had the energy to fight.

A third time that Kaz woke up, there was a raspy tongue against his cheek and pressing into his hair. Kaz tried to push whatever it was away but was unsuccessful. When the tongue kept lapping at him, Kaz cracked his eyes open. It was mostly dark, and his attacker was lit only by a dim fire. DD was at Kaz’s side, licking his face and neck all over. 

He had a bandage that wrapped around his head and covered his eye, and it was soaked through with blood. Kaz’s forehead throbbed. He reached up and touched a bandage of his own. He had no idea when it had gotten there. He scratched at the material, only to receive a whine from DD. Kaz dropped his hand.

“Ahab?” he croaked. There was a hunched shape on the other side of the fire, hidden from view.

The girl that stood up, though, was certainly not Ahab. She had a huge gun slung over her shoulders, and multiple others strapped to her body. Her eyes raked over Kaz and left him feeling very vulnerable. She crouched next to Kaz and reached up to check the bandage. She undid a tie somewhere to the side of Kaz’s head and peeled the cloth away from his head. When it was gone, she tossed it to the fire. Kaz didn’t miss the dark, oozing patch of black that was on the bandage. 

She procured another roll of bandages, seemingly out of nowhere. She began wrapping Kaz’s head once more, being extremely gentle with him but applying enough pressure to staunch any blood flow.

“You saved us,” Kaz slurred, trying his best to look at the girl.

Her eyes met his, and she nodded.

“Have you been following us?” he mumbled.

She nodded again.

Kaz hummed thoughtfully. She finished with Kaz’s bandages and then clicked her fingers at DD. He walked over obediently and sat down in front of her. She removed his bandages and felt sick at the sight of the oozing, pussy wound that had once been DD’s eyeball. He was patient as the girl parted his fur to examine the injury. When she deemed him good, she wrapped his head, and he sat through it all.

“Where is Ahab?” Kaz whispered.

The girl turned to look at Kaz again. She was younger than both of them by far, and despite the double vision, Kaz was certain that she was very pretty. She had a set of dog tags around her neck that clinked every time she moved or adjusted herself. She wore a heavily padded sports bra that made her chest look like next to nothing and a thick pair of workout leggings. Combat boots, and knee pads. If it weren’t for the tatters all along her leggings, Kaz could have been convinced that she was just out for a morning jog.

She didn’t reply, simply left Kaz where he was and then retreated to the other side of the fire. She sat down with her knees pulled close to her chest. She rested her chin atop her knees and kept her gaze on Kaz. Kaz felt unnerved by the serious look, but it didn’t stop him from drifting off once more.

 

The next time Kaz woke up, it was light outside. The sun burned through his eyelids and assaulted his eyeballs and brain with even more pain than he was already in. Kaz groaned and cracked an eye open. DD was stretched out next to him, paws in the air as he dozed on his back. Across from the burnt-out fire, Ahab sat against a tree. The coloring under his eye was darker than usual, and there were deep lines next to his mouth. He hadn’t noticed that Kaz was awake yet. 

He had one hand in the girl’s hair, petting it softly. It made Kaz bristle to see the gentle touch. He barely had enough energy to spare on thinking about how her head was on his lap. It made his stomach churn violently. Kaz tried to hold back the first wretch, but he couldn’t. He collapsed forward and coughed up whatever foamy bile was in his stomach.

Ahab and the girl were at his sides in a second. They helped to keep his hair back, and he couldn’t tell whose hand was rubbing circles on his back, but it was exceedingly soothing. When Kaz was done hacking up his guts, they leaned him back against the mound of backpacks. Kaz hadn’t even thought about what he had been sleeping against until that moment.

“Kaz, how are you feeling?” Ahab asked. A tinge of worry in his voice was all that Kaz could pick up.

“Disgusting,” Kaz spat. He closed his eyes, knowing that Ahab would want to know more. He was a doctor, after all. “Dizzy, tired, lots of pain.”

Ahab nodded. “Can you open your eyes?”

Kaz did so and was met with Ahab’s finger in his face. Ahab moved his finger back and forth, and Kaz couldn’t help but turn his head from side to side to keep track of it. Ahab’s finger stilled right in front of Kaz’s nose.

“Touch your nose, my finger, and then your nose again,” he instructed.

Kaz nodded. He was barely able to find his nose with his finger and completely missed Ahab’s. Ahab grimaced, crouched in front of Kaz looking like a miserable gargoyle.

“Kaz you were hurt in that city,” Ahab said. “You’ve most likely got a concussion, and I don’t know what else.”

Kaz groaned. “How’s the dog?” he asked, hoping to get the subject off his injuries. Brain damage could spell doom for them all.

“He’s doing okay,” Ahab said. Kaz heard the disappointment in his voice. Kaz was afraid. He didn’t want to think about being afraid. “He’s very good and lets us clean the wound. Would you let me take a look at yours?” he asked.

Kaz nodded. 

Ahab scooted closer to Kaz and undid the bandages. They peeled off the back of his head painfully, and Kaz was hit by the awful stench of blood. It made his stomach roil, but luckily there was nothing left to bring up.

Ahab prodded gently, pulling Kaz’s hair away from the injury. “It’s doing better,” he commented. “That monster really did some damage. When I first got a look at you, there was nearly nothing left. Now it’s looking a lot better.”

“That’s good,” Kaz grumbled.

“We’ll have to keep dirty water out of it until it heals. I have some disinfectant, but it’ll hurt.”

Kaz sighed. “Does it need disinfectant?”

“Probably,” Ahab answered. He searched through one of the backpacks and pulled up a squashed bottle of disinfectant. He took Kaz’s hand with one of his and then poured a liberal amount on the back of Kaz’s head.

Kaz couldn’t help but scream, despite having a hand to cling onto. DD was up and alert in an instant. Kaz barely got the chance to look at him or recover from the pain before it all went black.

Kaz woke, _again_ , to the tapping against his cheek. He opened his eyes to the girl, who looked pensive and deep in thought. She pulled her hand back once she was sure that Kaz was awake. Kaz peered around the campsite. It was different than the day before. Not in the sense that the spot for the fire had changed, but that their surroundings were different.

“Did we move?” Kaz grumbled.

She nodded.

Kaz nodded back. He closed his eyes and let his head lean back against the backpacks. DD was nowhere to be seen, and he hadn’t spotted Ahab. They must have gone off together to scout ahead for their next spot. 

The girl, the same as she had done with the bandages, offered a pill to Kaz that he hadn’t seen her grab. She pressed it into his palm, and then followed that with a water bottle at the ready. Kaz gulped down the pill without even asking. He took the water next and chugged until there were only a few drops left. He hadn’t realized just how thirsty he was. 

The next offering was a roll of crackers. She held them in her hands and waited for Kaz to eat a few before setting the crackers down on his lap. Once he began to eat them in earnest, she retreated to a safe distance away. 

After Kaz had finished what he could, he tucked the crackers away into a pocket in his pants. If he wasn’t mistaken, they were Ahab’s pants. They had far too many huge pockets, and they hung awkwardly around his legs. 

“What is your name?” Kaz asked after a while.

She pulled the dog tags up from around her neck and tossed them to Kaz. He scrabbled at them for a moment before he remembered how his hand worked. He lifted them up and scoured the letters. It was all unfamiliar to him. He couldn’t tell if it was actually written in Russian, or if his brain had been scrambled so badly that he forgot how to read. He tossed the dog tags back to her. She caught them midair and then replaced them around her neck.

“Where did Ahab go?” he asked.

She pointed her thumb in the general direction of where he had wandered off a few hours earlier.

“Scouting ahead?”

A nod.

“Do you speak?”

She shook her head.

Kaz frowned. “Great. Another freak to add to the circus,” he sniped. He felt bad the second he said it, but she didn’t seem to be affected by his words whatsoever. Kaz reclined against the backpacks, staring up at the sky between the thick foliage they were under.

 

Ahab returned much later that night, while the girl was preparing a fire and Kaz was in a hazy space between wakefulness and sleep due to the medication the girl kept feeding him. DD was prancing at his heels and greeted Kaz enthusiastically.

“You’ll never believe the good news,” Ahab panted. He looked like he’d run the entire way back to their campsite.

The girl raised an eyebrow, Kaz softly petted DD. 

“We’re in Dallas.”


	8. Chapter Seven

John lurched awake with a shout, unsure of when he had fallen asleep. He pawed at his chest, desperate to find the source of burning all across his skin. After his panic had ebbed enough to begin thinking clearly, John looked around. He was on the roof of the grocery store, tucked between a ventilation system and the lip of the roof. The sun was high above him, and his face was searing from the burn he must have gotten.

He rubbed his sore forehead as he sat up, and glanced over the lip of the building. There was still a huge number of zombies hanging around the building. The gunshot had attracted them the night before, and now they had no reason to leave. John fell back onto the roof, feeling guilty and scared.

It might take days for the herd to clear out and move away from the grocery store completely. John only had one more day until Adam was forced to move him and Eva onwards. Even if it took a few days, John was sure that he would be able to catch up with them on the road. There was no use in panicking now. It was only going to lead to bad ideas, and bad ideas could mean the end of his life.

After a while of sitting under the sun, agonizing over the burn and how stupid he had been to leave his head uncovered, John sat up. He pressed his back against the lip of the roof, giving him a perfect field of view of the surrounding buildings. He rummaged through the backpack and grabbed a water bottle and a bag of chips. He drank half the water and ate the entire bag of chips. It wasn’t as fulfilling as one of those ravioli cans would be, but John was determined to save those for Eva and Adam.

John peered over the side of the building again. The zombies were moving agonizingly slow. Granted, they were filtering out of the area one by one, but it was taking forever just for one of them to move down the street. The entire area was moving, a sea of bodies with no hope of getting through. 

John stood and stretched his body, everything about him sore from the day before. The heavy backpack didn’t help anything, and neither did running around like he was still twenty and just entering the army. 

He wondered how Kaz and Ahab were doing; if Kaz was still meticulous about his appearance. Did Ahab fall out of shape and become the soft, friendly doctor he had always wanted to be? John clenched his jaw tightly. He desperately hoped that Ahab knew something about pregnant women and babies. Kaz would be no help at all, but Ahab could prove himself useful with medical knowledge.

Bored of sitting around, John wandered the roof and peered over each edge. Every time he looked down, it was the same thing. Too many zombies everywhere for him to do anything. John returned to his backpack between the edge and the vents. He stretched out on his side, making sure to cover his face this time around. Agitating the burn with more sun was the last thing he needed. At least now he could get some more rest before he needed to move out.

 

When John woke up again, the sun was much closer to setting. A few stars were beginning to peek out here and there in the beginnings of a dark, inky sky. John turned from side to side in his secured spot, agitated and anxious with nothing to do. If Adam were smart, he would wait the night and then move him and Eva along the next morning when the activity died down again. 

John sat up, using his elbow to prop himself on the edge of the roof. The herd had somewhat thinned out, but it was far too dangerous to even think about getting down. John peered across the crowd, looking for something that might stand out. He then looked across the roof, contemplating his decisions. He had various heavy objects on the roof, and he had no doubt that he could manage to hurl something across the street and shatter a window.

John stood, and hiked his backpack onto his shoulders. If he was going to create a distraction, he needed to be ready to leave when it happened.

He paced the roof, kicking bits of rock and roofing with his toe. He couldn’t find anything to settle on; nothing stood out or appeared to be very useful at all. Even if he threw the small stones with all his might, they probably wouldn’t do much damage. 

John suddenly remembered the food he had in his backpack. While it wouldn’t do to get rid of too much food, certainly they could do without one can? He shoved his backpack off and dug through until he found the can of olives. John wasn’t particularly picky about his food, but he knew that Eva wasn’t a fan of olives.

John smirked as he weighed the can in his hand, testing it out. It would be just his luck that he throw a can of olives to its doom, and then Eva start complaining about craving olives. John carefully walked to the front edge of the grocery store, tossing the can back and forth in his hands. He wanted to head West, to the left of the grocery store. Throwing it in the opposite direction would be the better option.

Picking his target, an old electronics store with the gate half-closed in front of it, John wound back his arm. He held his other hand out as a sight, measuring up the throw for a few minutes more before tossing the can. He stumbled forward with his throw, careful not to go careening over the edge. 

Luckily enough, the olive can collided with the glass window. The glass shattered into millions of pieces, and the can kept going inside the store. It racketed around before eventually falling silent. The deafening noise of breaking the glass and other various things in the store being damaged was trailed by a somewhat curious-sounding noise from the stragglers in the herd. Nearly every head in the area turned in that direction, and they began to move as one.

John ran to the back of the grocery store where the ladder was and perched himself at the top of the ladder. He waited as long as he dared before darting down the ladder. The alleyway was mostly cleared out, aside from those that couldn’t walk. He looked down at one of the sad sacks of shit, giving it a moment of pity before taking off in the opposite direction.

John’s first instinct was to continue through the alleyways behind the stores, but he knew that it was the perfect place to get trapped. The sound of the glass shattering had been extremely loud, and more than just the nearby zombies would be heading in his direction. Ignoring every screaming muscle in his body, John darted out of the back paths and onto the main street.

He could see the houses in the distance, barely an hour walk, less if he was quick. Which was easier said than done. John spent more of his time dodging and tiptoeing around large groups than he did running. He was hardly halfway to the houses, and the moon was rising high above him. He was grateful that he was accustomed to moving at night. His eye didn’t take long to adjust, and it was very easy to spot the flashing eyes of the zombies as he moved around them.

John held onto his fast pace for as long as he could. Even at night, the air was sweltering around him. He had broken out into a fierce sweat, and he was gulping desperately at air. Taking solace tucked away from the zombies, John reached for a water bottle and gulped down half of it. He wanted to save some for Eva and Adam, but he could hardly control himself. John chugged the last half of the bottle. When a few too many eyes for comfort turned in John’s direction, he threw the water bottle as well. It clattered and rolled down the street until it came to a stop somewhere in the distance. Those that hadn’t noticed John moved in that direction. Those that had were not fooled one bit. 

John wiped the sweat from his brow and took off running once more.

It was another few hours before John reached the houses. He stood at the mouth of the neighborhood, glancing around for some sign that Adam might have left him. Nothing stood out as John began to patrol the houses. 

He knew the neighborhoods were large and sprawling, but most of them were connected, too. John walked silently along the pavement, eyes peeled for any movement that wasn’t friendly. There were stragglers all the way out here, but they were slow, unfed, and easier than normal to avoid.

Each house he passed, John quickly scanned it. None stood out until he came to a cul-de-sac. The house that sat in the center of the cul-de-sac had a dead snake in the driveway. It was missing its head and shriveled up from sitting in the sun for too long. It looked as though some birds had come down to peck at it, but it had been guarded for the most part.

John didn’t know for how long he had been walking, but he was grateful that he had finally made it. He glanced up; the moon was nearly through with its arc of the sky.

As John approached the door, fear chilled his blood. What if Adam moved them out of the city earlier, just to be safe? He knew that Adam wouldn’t do it, but there was that shred of doubt that plagued his thoughts. John approached the door, analyzing the sturdiness of the boarded-up windows. They certainly had found a good place to settle down in for a couple of days.

John stood in front of the door, listening for any conversation before knocking very lightly. 

A scuffle from the other side of the door, quiet enough that any normal person would have missed it and assumed the place was empty. John glanced up at the peephole, despite not being able to see in. 

What if it wasn’t them? Was he barging in on strangers?

The door opened a few seconds later.

John had never been happier in his life. It was Eva who greeted him. Her hair was disheveled, her cheeks looked tinged pink with sun, and she had her arms crossed over her chest. John put a hand on her cheek, ready to lean down and kiss her when he received a firm shove to his chest.

“Are you an idiot?!” she snapped. 

Only then did John take her fury into account. He had, after all, left her behind when she was out cold.

John looked away from Eva, who gave a grumbling cry in anger. She whirled around and disappeared into the house. John followed her, making sure to shut the door and lock it behind him. Eva was already gone, somewhere deeper into the house. Adam sat on a dusty couch, fiddling with the tiny fire they had built between the furniture.

“You’d better apologize,” he warned.

“Good to see you, too, Adam,” John remarked dryly. 

He walked over to Adam and dumped his backpack in front of him. “There’s food and water; I don’t know how you two have been doing. Also, a comb, since Eva’s been complaining about that. Soap, toothpaste; other things like that.”

Adam nodded appreciatively and began digging through the bag. He made a flippant, dismissing gesture with his hand.

“Eva’s been at the back of the house in one of the bedrooms. Don’t worry,” he immediately said, cutting off John’s argument before it had the chance to start. “We secured everything. She’s been perfectly safe.”

John nodded. He scuffed his boot on the floor and shifted his weight from foot to foot. “Thank you, Adam. I’m glad that you’re safe.”

Adam gave John the smallest of smiles and then jerked his head in Eva’s direction. “She’s been worried sick, John.”

“I can tell,” John replied.

He left Adam, then, going to the back of the house. He briefly checked each room as he passed them, assessing them a second time. He had no doubt in Eva or Adam, but he was still paranoid. And for a good reason.

John gently pushed open the only closed door in the house. Eva was curled up on her side on the bed. She had her hands on her stomach. John couldn’t see her expression, but he could hear the small whimpers that she was trying to bite back. John kicked off his boots, and then joined Eva on the bed.

He curled up right next to her, his fingers brushing through her hair. He felt horrible for making her so worried that she was crying.

“I’m sorry, Eva,” he whispered. John inched closer, pressing a kiss just behind Eva’s ear.

When she groaned and curled in on herself, John sat up. He had a hand on her shoulder, gently shaking. Panic was flooding through him. Was she hurt? Was the baby coming?

“Eva? Eva what’s wrong?” he pressed, giving her another shake.

“It’s the baby,” Eva moaned.

John’s eye flew wide. He launched himself off the bed before he could think twice, dropping to his knees in front of Eva.

“What do you mean it’s the baby?” he snapped. “Are you having it right now?”

If John wasn’t mistaken, through Eva’s pained groans, he heard a chuckle.

“You’re a moron,” she scoffed. Eva cracked an eye open at John, the blue dimmed by the lack of light. “If I were having the baby, I’d be screaming by now.” Eva unfurled by a fraction, gently rubbing the side of her stomach. “He’s just moving around. He gets upset when I get upset.”

“He?” John asked, tilting his head to one side. “How do you know it’s a boy?”

“Because, John. It’s inside of me, and recently it hasn’t stopped moving. He presses up against my ribs and my bladder, and he kicks me constantly. I _know_ he’s your son. He won’t stop damn squirming.” Eva gave a cold laugh. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say there’s two of them in there.”

John’s eyes flickered between Eva’s hands on her belly, to her face. 

“Do you want to feel?” she asked, smirking at John. He was embarrassed at how easily she could read him. “He’ll be moving around for a while.”

John nodded, nearly in a dreamlike trance as he rested his hands on Eva’s belly. She took his wrists and moved his hands to a particular place. At first, he didn’t feel very much. And then he felt a gentle press against his hands, and then a harsher twitch.

Eva grimaced, but she didn’t make a sound. “Of course, he calms down when you’re around.”

John couldn’t help his grin. After feeling the baby kick a few more times, he crawled back into the bed behind Eva. He draped his arm over her, keeping his hand where she guided him.

“I’m still mad at you,” she said after a few minutes of silence.

“If it’s a boy, what should we name it?” John asked.

Eva let out a slow breath from her nose. She adjusted herself in John’s grip.

“I like David,” she mused.

“David?” John parroted. After a few seconds, he nodded in agreement. “David is nice.”

Eva nuzzled against the pillows. John could feel her breathing start to settle out, and the baby begin to calm down slowly.

“I hope he looks like you,” Eva murmured. “Strong, pretty blue eyes.”

“I thought you said you were mad at me?” John teased.

“I am,” Eva said.

John pressed his nose to the back of Eva’s head, getting as close to her as he possibly could. It didn’t take much longer for her to fall asleep. John half wondered if she had been up all night, hoping John would come back. As she slept, John gently rubbed her stomach, occasionally feeling the baby stir.


	9. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops. Bit of a longer chapter to try and make up for my MIA-ness. Lo siento.

Kaz, for lack of a better word, lounged in a heavenly field of green grass with DD. DD was sitting up, his head and ears swiveling every which way. He and Kaz had been left by Ahab and the girl, with strict instructions to stay put unless there was any danger. Kaz trailed his fingers along DD’s shoulder, petting through the greasy grime in his fur. They needed to find somewhere to bathe sooner rather than later, DD was becoming just as intolerable as the rest of them.

“We got you for Ahab, y’know,” Kaz mumbled. He wanted to sit up, but the world was spinning, and he wasn’t sure that he would be able to make it up. DD glanced at Kaz with his remaining eye. “It’s true,” he continued. “His therapist recommended it. I was all for it, thinking you would make him better.” Kaz sighed heavily through his nose. “And now look at you.” 

DD whined, pawing at the ground. 

“You’re more my dog than his,” Kaz groused. “He’s got _her_ now.” It made Kaz’s blood simmer just beneath his skin. What was so good about her? She didn’t even speak!

Kaz rolled onto his side and pushed himself upright at a snail’s pace. When he had to pause to catch his breath, DD nuzzled at his cheek. Kaz peered at their surroundings, scouring for Ahab and the girl, nicknamed ‘Quiet.' Kaz nearly snarled just thinking about it. They were nowhere to be seen. If anything, it made Kaz angrier than he already was.

Consequences be damned, Kaz used DD’s shoulder to push himself all the way up. He nearly tipped over once or twice, the side effects of his concussion still digging their claws into his brain. DD stood, pacing around Kaz.

“If it weren’t for Ahab leaving you with me, I’d think they left me behind,” he mumbled. Kaz’s throat felt tight, and his eyes were stinging. “What do they need me for? I can’t even walk in a straight line,” he grumbled. Kaz bit down hard on his lower lip. 

He swiveled his head around one last time, before picking a direction and going with it. Kaz barely lifted his foot before DD clamped his teeth around the baggy pants Ahab had given him. Kaz’s others had been mostly ruined by vomit. DD tugged at Kaz’s pants gently, but firmly.

“Back off,” Kaz hissed. “I’m going to find them. Ahab left us here, and it’s been too long. They should be back by now.” Some nasty, jealous part of Kaz wanted nothing more than to start trouble between the two of them.

What right did they have, to be happy when he was so miserable? Kaz wobbled on his feet, batting DD’s snout away from his leg. DD paced around Kaz, nipping at his heels in an attempt to herd him into staying. Despite staying around Kaz more often than not, Kaz knew that it was only because Ahab told him to. 

Kaz took one step, and his stomach bottomed out. He felt queasy and rocky on his toes, leaning forward. He was positive that the ground was rushing toward him at an unnatural pace, and then he was face first in the dirt. Kaz burst out crying at the exact moment, unable to get a hold of his emotions since the city. DD was there in an instant, nuzzling at Kaz.

Snot leaking from his nose, Kaz shoved himself upright once more. It was tough getting to his feet a second time, but this time around he felt a little more confident in his abilities. Kaz managed to get four steps before vomiting. As he retched up crackers and canned peaches, DD sat not far away with a look that said _Ahab was right_. Kaz couldn’t admit that Ahab was right and he was wrong, not when he was so stuck in his own thoughts.

Kaz swallowed around the nasty taste in his mouth, spitting out globs of undigested food now and then. His going was slow, but DD was patient. It felt like hours were passing by in only a few seconds, but Kaz knew that wasn’t right. He had barely gone a few steps, but he was exhausted.

With the sun beating down on him, Kaz’s only goal was to get to a tree at this point. He stumbled to the edge of the field, tripping over himself multiple times. DD was always there to lend his shoulder. Kaz had never been more grateful that they adopted such a huge dog. DD could take most of Kaz’s weight without complaint.

When he finally reached the sparse trees that bordered the field, Kaz dropped to his knees under the first shady spot he found. Kaz fell to his side, panting heavily and feeling sick again. His head was _killing_ him. He begged Ahab to leave behind the pain medicine, but apparently, Kaz couldn’t be trusted with pills. Ahab or Quiet had to be around for everything. Checking to make sure that he didn’t choke on canned peas or anything else, for that matter.

DD sat next to Kaz, peering around with his ears swiveling once more. Occasionally, he sniffed at the air. Usually, there was nothing. When he did smell something good, Kaz could see the torn emotions in his eyes. He wanted to chase whatever it was into the woods, but he couldn’t risk leaving behind the human pup that could barely walk anymore.

Kaz didn’t know how long he sat under the shade, simmering in self-loathing. Surely Ahab and Quiet should have been looking for him by then. Although, maybe they’d given up on him and were ready to move on without him. Kaz glanced at DD. He could probably hunt for the two of them and keep them safe.

Kaz closed his eyes, allowing restless sleep to try and take him.

He started awake suddenly when DD jumped to his feet with a frightening bark. Kaz scrambled to sit up, the trees swimming around his eyes.

“DD?” Kaz asked.

DD was sniffing at the air in the way he did when he smelled food. DD snuffled at Kaz, checking him all over before tearing away back into the fields. Kaz frowned. Of course. Now the dog was going to leave him, too.

Kaz closed his eyes again. Several minutes went by. Kaz only opened his eyes to check on the insistent tugging at his ankle. At first, Kaz thought nothing of it. His breath was shallow, caught between dreaming and being wide awake as he looked down at his legs.

There was a man there. His hair and scalp had mostly been ripped out. The skin around his cheeks was tight and pulled back like the worst kind of plastic surgery. His gaunt jaw opened and closed as he used Kaz’s ankle as an anchor. He pulled himself forward on spindly, gray limbs.

Kaz watched it all without knowing if it was real or fake. The man began to gnaw on Kaz’s left boot. Kaz kicked him away, but it only worked for so long. The man, with half of his lower body missing, entrails leaking from his torso, crawled his way back to Kaz. This time, the gnawing was more desperate.

Something in Kaz’s injured brain began to stir. This situation wasn’t good. If he wasn’t careful, it could probably turn very deadly, very quickly. Despite knowing that he was in danger, Kaz didn’t know if he had the energy to move.

As the man crunched down on the steel toe of Kaz’s boot—another gift from Ahab—Kaz couldn’t help but let his thoughts wander. If he was with John this whole time, would John have let this happen? No, he wouldn’t have.

When the man bit down on the softer leather around the middle of Kaz’s foot, his worry spiked. With a shake of his misshapen, skinny head, the leather peeled back from Kaz’s boot like the skin of a chicken wing.

Kaz let out a panicked noise.

It seemed to stir his attacker, that suddenly realized Kaz was still alive. All too quickly, the meatier parts of Kaz became more interesting than the tough leather of his boots. Its nails sank into Kaz’s legs through his thick pants. Kaz tried to back away, but there wasn’t anywhere that he could go.

The monster stretched its jaw wide as it moved up Kaz’s leg. The thing was just about to clamp down around Kaz’s calf when he heard the very distinct sound of Quiet’s rifle. The monster was obliterated. It splattered all over Kaz and the ground around them. Before long, the loud noise had drawn others out of the forest. Their curiosity was pinned on Kaz, who was still helplessly on the ground.

A strong hand hooked under Kaz’s armpit, the other wrapping into the material of his shirt to drag him backward. Kaz screamed, kicking away and trying to flip his assailant. At least, that was what Kaz hoped he was doing. More likely than not, he was flopping around like a fish out of water. Tears sprang forward again as Kaz screamed nonsense at the monster that had him so securely in its grasp. With any luck, it would sink its teeth into his throat and kill him swiftly.

Those strong hands pulled Kaz away from the ground, flipping him over and lifting him what looked to be six feet off the ground. Kaz didn’t have much left in him, but the bile that was in his stomach came up and all over the backside of whatever was carrying him.

Kaz could hear frantic voices—though he couldn’t be sure if it was one voice or many. All he knew was that he was being scolded for something. Kaz felt like he was back in elementary school, being torn to pieces by the teachers that couldn’t grasp his inability to do anything in English.

The motion of his body being jostled back and forth was somehow comforting to Kaz. Once in a while, Quiet came into view. She ducked her head to make eye contact with him, before jogging ahead again. Her gun must have been uncomfortable and heavy, smacking against her shoulders and backside the way it was, but she worked through it without a single complaint. 

Kaz wasn’t sure if he slept or if he stayed awake the entire time. Kaz wasn’t sure how long _that_ was either, but by the time the jostling stopped, the sun was sinking below the horizon. That, or it was rising, and the jostling had been going on for a long time. 

Kaz was set, none too gently, on the ground. It was rough against his sore muscles, but it felt nice to be on solid ground again. Ahab was there, too, his hands on either side of Kaz’s face. His lips were moving, but Kaz couldn’t quite hear him through the ringing in his ears. Kaz leaned forward to try and get a kiss, but his neck was nowhere near strong enough to hold his head up. Kaz collapsed against Ahab, grateful for his warmth. For the time being, he could set aside his grudge.

 

Kaz woke with a disgusting taste in his mouth. He wasn’t quite sure what it was, but he curled his lips back and attempted to spit out the thick spit that was coating his teeth.

Quiet crouched in front of him, he could tell from the smaller shoe size that it wasn’t Ahab. She gently tapped his cheek, and Kaz squinted up at her face. She was dirty, with smears of mud all over her face and arms. When she decided something or other about Kaz, she stood and moved away from him.

Kaz attempted to stretch his spine from side to side. Falling asleep sitting up had not been kind to his back. Kaz smacked his lips, amazed when a water bottle seemed to roll at him from nowhere. He snatched it up and guzzled it down until he was sure that it was going to make him sick. 

“Ahab?” he asked.

Quiet pointed over her shoulder. There was a house in the distance. Far enough away to make the details invisible, but close enough that Kaz could see a small figure roaming around it.

“We should join him,” Kaz said. He wobbled up to his feet, glad that Quiet didn’t try and help him. 

Quiet frowned but nodded. She hauled a heavy backpack onto her shoulders and offered a lighter one to Kaz. He took it and strapped it over his good arm. They approached the house slowly. If not for Kaz, he was positive that Quiet could have made it there in no time at all. She was a healthy young woman in good shape. She was much better off than Ahab or himself.

When they got to the house, Ahab was around the back. Kaz could hear him tapping at windows and walls. He tugged at something, probably the doors to the cellar. Kaz stared up at the roof of the house. If this was the farmhouse that Ahab always talked about, it was much bigger than Kaz had ever imagined. He always thought of it as something quaint and small, but this bordered on being a mansion. Kaz smirked to himself. It seemed that everything was bigger in Texas.

Ahab jogged around to the front of the house. The look he gave Kaz was a mix of hurt and happiness. Kaz didn’t like it one bit.

“How are you feeling?” Ahab asked as he approached.

“Sick,” Kaz replied. 

Ahab nodded. “Concussion symptoms can last for a very long time.” Ahab looked at Kaz from head to toe. “We checked you for any bites. You’re clear.”

“Thanks,” Kaz said. He turned to look at the house again. “This is where you used to live as a kid?” 

“Yes,” Ahab said. “Quiet, could you check the inside for me?”

She was gone without a second’s hesitation. She dropped her backpack on the porch, and swung her gun around and into her arms. She checked that it was loaded, and then silently pushed the door open. She glanced around the entryway and then vanished.

Kaz frowned. He felt suspiciously like a child being punished. “Are you going to ground me?” he grumbled.

Ahab frowned back at Kaz. His eyebrows were so furrowed that it looked like they were glued together. “Kaz, you could have died. I told you to stay where you were. We weren’t going to be gone for long. I just wanted to check that we were going in the right direction without making you exert yourself.”

Kaz scoffed. He didn’t need to look at Ahab to know that he’d hurt him. “Stop pretending like you care.”

“Kaz…” Ahab breathed. It was like being punched in the gut, but Kaz stayed standing. “Don’t say things like that; of course I care.”

“Is that why you touch her more than you’ve touched me in the past year?” Kaz growled.

Ahab shook his head. “Kaz, I haven’t. Not with her.”

“I didn’t mean sex, Ahab,” Kaz snapped. He felt as bitter as the acrid stomach acid he was so used to tasting. “I meant anything. Holding her hand, touching her hair, letting her sit next to you. You treat me like I’m fragile or poisonous. Maybe both.”

“Kaz, I didn’t—“

Kaz didn’t want to hear it. He shot Ahab a look that would freeze Hell over. “Don’t give me that shit. I know that she’s more important to you.” Kaz tromped up the stairs and into the house. He shoved the door open and picked his way through the hallways until he found a set of stairs. Without waiting to see if Quiet had cleared all the rooms, Kaz picked one.

Quiet was down the hall, staring at Kaz with wide eyes.

“Your boyfriend needs comforting,” Kaz snarled.

“Kaz!” Ahab called. Kaz heard his heavy boots on the wooden floor, chasing after him.

Kaz waited until Ahab was at the top of the stairs. Feeling petulant and spiteful, he slammed the door the second he caught Ahab’s eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a Twitter! Come yell at/with me about not updating on a regular schedule: @Nonmurdering


	10. Chapter Nine

_Two months later._

 

Kaz tiptoed out of his room, glancing both ways down the hall. DD was nowhere to be seen, probably outside exploring. Ahab and Quiet checked the borders of the farmhouse last night; there was nothing to fear for the time being. Wary of all the spots in the floorboards that creaked, Kaz made his way to the stairs. He took the far right on the staircase, knowing it was quieter than if he hugged the opposite wall. 

Just like every day for the past who-knew-how-long, Kaz cringed at the yellowing, striped wallpaper. It was hideous and peeling with no one around to take care of it anymore. Kaz had to hand it to Ahab’s mother; she had a very particular sense of interior design.

Not long ago, Ahab had tossed out all the fake flowers that were starting to accumulate spiders. Kaz didn’t want to think about Ahab’s aging parents, and where they had gone during all of this. Ahab didn’t want to talk about it either, so they all left it be.

Kaz peered into the living room at the bottom of the stairs. Quiet was stretched out on the pink, floral-print couch, but Kaz knew by now that she wasn’t sleeping, just drifting. He caught a flash of her blue eyes in the weak early-morning sun and then moved along. Kaz never stayed around her for long, but she never seemed too offended.

Kaz’s next stop was the kitchen. Over the weeks, they had managed to gather enough food to last the three of them for quite a while. Included in their stash was a giant bag of dog food, which DD begrudgingly ate.

Ahab was in the kitchen, sitting on a barstool at the island counter that looked far too small for him. Kaz cleared his throat to let Ahab know that he wasn’t alone. When Ahab didn’t respond, Kaz sighed and moved further in.

Kaz frowned at the sight of Ahab. His ponytail had gotten longer, and his beard, too. Kaz wasn’t sure that he trimmed either. Kaz was no saint, but at least he kept his scruff somewhat trimmed down. His hair was another matter. With nothing left to style it with, it feathered around his face but was just a touch too short to pull into a ponytail. 

Gently, Kaz set his hand on Ahab’s shoulder. This roused Ahab, and he turned to face Kaz. Kaz couldn’t put a word on the expression Ahab gave him, but it was heartbreaking.

“Good morning,” Kaz said. “Quiet’s awake, too.”

Ahab nodded with a sigh. Finally getting control over himself again, he tugged his fingers through his hair, loosening the ponytail at the back of his skull.

Kaz knew that he hadn’t been the best significant other in a long time—to the point where he wasn’t even sure that Ahab considered him a significant other anymore—but it still made him feel horrible to see Ahab in such a state. 

“Want to talk?” Kaz offered.

Ahab’s tanned forehead creased as he furrowed his brows. He gave Kaz a look that hurt almost more than seeing him look so sad. 

Kazuhira had to immediately reign in his annoyance. Ahab had every right in the world to be upset with him. Kaz had done plenty of nasty things, especially once they found Quiet. He would blame it on his concussion, but even those symptoms were starting to go away.

Kaz nodded, attempting to cool his boiling blood.

“What about breakfast?” Kaz offered.

Ahab shrugged. Kaz breathed in sharply but forced himself to let it go slowly and in the calmest way, he possibly could. 

“Okay,” he ground out.

Kaz dug through the stash of food tucked away in a cupboard, finding a row of crackers and a can of chicken soup. They had nothing to heat it with in the kitchen, so Kaz settled on cold soup for them. He cracked into the can of soup, which was much harder than he would have guessed without two hands, and tore open the roll of crackers with his teeth.

Once the soup was in a chipped, browning glass bowl, he set it in front of Ahab along with the crackers.

“Breakfast, Quiet!” Kaz called.

She was there in the blink of an eye, staring at Kaz and then at Ahab. It didn’t get by Kaz how she and Ahab held a silent conversation with just their eyes, or how the way Ahab relaxed when it was over. 

Quiet took her seat next to Ahab, dipping her crackers in soup and then nibbling at them. Once she’d had a few, Ahab found his strength to eat one.

Watching the scene in front of him unfold made Kaz’s throat tighten. There was a pit in his stomach that was growing larger as each day went by. Kaz shoved a few crackers in his mouth to give himself something to do other than grinding his teeth. He had to accept it. There was no official end, but it was evident to him that Quiet was better for Ahab than he ever could be.

That struck a nerve.

Kaz gobbled down a few more crackers before getting up and leaving the kitchen. He stepped out of the front door and into the crisp morning air. It wasn’t cold like it could get in New York, but it was something to enjoy before the heat of the day came down on them. DD sprinted by, chasing something or other through the overgrown grass. It was nice to see him adjusting to having only one eye. He no longer bumped into things that were closer than they appeared, and he could easily get up and down the stairs.

Kaz, on the other hand, could still sometimes feel his arm that was missing. He would reach for things with it, only to be met with nothing. It didn’t help that there was no one there to support him and help him adjust. Kaz squinted at the horizon, doing his best to hold back tears. He was sick of crying so often. It made him feel so helpless. Ahab never teared up like he did.

Kaz clenched his fist and sat down on the swinging bench connected to the awning over the porch. He pushed himself back and forth with his toes, before giving up on that and staring at something far away.

A few minutes later, when Ahab flopped down in the chair next to him, Kaz turned away. He scrubbed at his face with the heel of his palm and faked a huge yawn to try and cover up his watery eyes.

Ahab was silent for a very long time. Long enough that Kaz wouldn’t know he was there if it weren’t for his heavy breathing.

“I’m worried about John,” Ahab whispered. 

Kaz finally turned to look at him. There was a tightness to his voice, the kind that wouldn’t let you speak loudly or clearly.

“He was closer to Dallas than we were, but he’s still not here.”

Kaz didn’t know what to say. He was left with tracing Ahab’s profile over and over again. He and John were so alike that they could have been twins, or Kaz had forgotten what John looked like. 

Ahab’s fingers clenched into the baggy material of his cargo pants. His knuckles began to turn white.

“He was living with Adam and Eva; they should have kept him safe. He would have kept them safe, too. But there’s…” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he tried to gulp through the strain in his voice. “There’s so much danger. Not just the monsters, but other people and thirst and hunger and—”

He whipped his head around to look at Kaz, who’d put his hand over Ahab’s.

“You can’t think like that, Ahab,” Kaz muttered. He didn’t want to admit that he shared the same fears as Ahab, but it was evident in his voice. “They’re all ex-military. And maybe that isn’t the best reason to say they’re alive, but they know how to take care of each other.”

As if he were dealing with a scared, vicious animal, Kaz slowly leaned his weight against Ahab. When Ahab’s shaky arm wrapped around his shoulders, Kaz let himself completely relax. He couldn’t help but feel happy, despite the sour subject. This was where he belonged; in Ahab’s arms.

“It’s okay to be scared,” Kaz continued. “But you took care of me and DD, and I didn’t know what I was doing. The three of them? They know what they’re doing. They’ll get here, Ahab.”

 

Eva collapsed next to John, despite his tight grip around her shoulders. He dropped down with her, making sure that she didn’t land too hard on her knees. The last thing they needed was for her to be injured. Adam fell back a few steps, turning to guard the couple as Eva grit her teeth, groaning through another wave of pain. Sweat was beading thick in her hair, turning it damp and greasy.

As soon as she found the strength to unclench her jaw, she gasped, gulping in as much air as she could manage. John gently rubbed her shoulder, doing his best to hide the panic that was flowing through him. Things had gone so wrong so quickly. He looked over his shoulder; they had crossed paths with a group at some point. Not even Adam had noticed the monsters until their group had run nearly straight into theirs.

 

_Just as John was getting comfortable after a long watch, he felt Eva stir. He held his breath, hoping she was going to roll over or find a comfortable position again. A few seconds ticked by with John frozen like a deer in the headlights. He could hear Adam’s boots crunching in leaf litter as he circled their makeshift camp. Their backpacks were scattered, with John’s thick jacket tucked under Eva’s head. Her hair was starting to get longer again, brushing against her tanned collarbones._

_Softly, John brushed a few uneven clumps of sweaty hair away from her face. She hadn’t moved again, but he was wary of waking her. Sleep the past few days had been tight, each of them was running on fumes. Slowly, John moved his hand down. He stroked her arm, and then rested his hand on the side of Eva’s belly. She looked ready to burst. John wished they had paid more attention to when her period stopped. Was the baby due in a few weeks, or in a few months? He had no idea._

_He kept his hand over the place where the baby usually kicked. For the past week, maybe even longer, there hadn’t been anything. Eva didn’t even feel hiccups anymore. It made John sick with worry. What if something had gone wrong? There were so many precautions women were meant to take, and it hadn’t been possible for Eva to take any of them._

_John kept his hand there for a little while longer. They left the Dallas city limits more than a week ago, but that didn’t mean they were any closer to his home. How long would it take a small group with a pregnant woman to travel the distance that took a car two hours?_

_Eva’s muscles tensed again, and a whine escaped her mouth, even as she slept. John frowned. A nightmare? He moved to pet her hair, but Eva lurched awake before he got to it._

_John sat up with her, expecting the furious panting and shivers that came with waking from a nightmare. Eva did neither._

_She curled in on herself, breathing out through tightly clenched teeth. It lasted less than a minute, but it took her much longer to relax._

_“Eva?” John whispered. “What’s wrong? Are you sick?”_

_Eva shook her head. She snapped her jaw shut and stared at something in the distance._

_John stared that way too, looking for anything that might have alerted her. There was nothing, except for the occasional crunch of Adam’s boots as he prowled the area._

_“Did the baby kick?” John’s chest filled with an odd feeling; it was something along the lines of hope, but there was no way to be sure anymore._

_Eva shook her head again._

_“What’s wrong?” John asked again._

_Eva’s eyes finally flickered to John’s face. Her breathing had calmed down again, and she looked no worse for wear. Slowly, she laid back down in the dirt. John slowly, cautiously followed her._

_He stroked her hair delicately, examining her face. It seemed an awful lot like she was trying to avoid looking at him. Everything caught her eye, except for John’s face. He furrowed his eyebrows at her. He couldn’t fathom why she was acting the way she was._

_“John,” Eva began, a tremble to her voice that unnerved John._

_“Yes?” John prompted, hoping to make her more comfortable to go on. She had his full, undivided attention._

_“I think I just had a contraction.”_

 

“We need to _move_ , John!” Adam snapped. He leveled his arm and fired at the nearest monster. Deadeye that he was, it fell with a massive hole splitting open the back of its head.

“Eva, I need you to get up,” John growled. 

“I’m _trying_ , John,” Eva snapped back. John saw the flash of an apology in her eyes, but he couldn’t blame her for it. It wasn’t her fault.

John frowned as he grabbed onto Eva’s arms and hauled her back to her feet. She stayed hunched for a moment before she found the will to move again. John trotted next to her, trying to keep the pace up but also trying not to rush Eva. He didn’t know what women were supposed to do when they were giving birth, but he was sure that it wasn’t running from a pack of dead cannibals.

Another few shots from Adam’s gun gave them more space, but it only served to rile up the rest of the group. They stumbled over each other in a snarling, screeching mass, falling one over the other without a care in the world. 

John steered Eva away from a pair of wandering, decayed hands. He let go of her shoulders to turn on his heel, knife already drawn. John flipped the blade in his hand, tightly gripping the handle. He lunged forward, shoving the knife through the man’s left eyeball. Ooze dribbled out of it as John rushed back to Eva, leaving his knife lodged in the monster’s head as it squirmed and tried to right itself. John curled his nose; stubborn motherfucker.

He could see the house in the distance, a beautiful, promising white speck amidst overgrown grass and whatever other plants grew in the time no one was taking care of it.

Beside him, Eva’s footsteps began to drag again as she fought through the pain as best as she could. John adjusted the way he was holding her, throwing her arm around his shoulders and his arm under hers. He would drag her to the house if it came down to it. Anything was better than slowing down.

He could already hear Adam chiding him. _I told you she would slow us down._

It wasn’t as if John had a choice in all of this.

Adam shouted both John and Eva whipped around at breakneck speed. Gray fingers clasped around Adam’s wrist, digging in tight enough that he was forced to drop the bullets he was holding. John’s eyes flickered to Adam’s gun, caught halfway between reloading and drawing back to strike.

John moved first.

He left Eva and dove forward to Adam’s side. He tucked his shoulder forward and into the knees of the zombie, bowling it over. Adam went down with them, but he was able to recover quickly. He fell back and grabbed more bullets from his belt.

John sat up, pinning the zombie with his knees. He reeled his fist back and slammed it into the side of its bony jaw. John could feel some of the splinters of bone in his knuckles, but it felt so good to see that jaw go flying to the side. With each click of Adam’s bullets sliding into the chamber, John landed another punch.

It wasn’t until there was nothing left but a bloody pile that John withdrew. He went back to Eva, who was locked in a struggle with another of the monsters. She had an arm around its neck, and her other hand pressing up against its jaw, refusing to let it get anywhere near her. 

It was blown away a second later once Adam had reloaded. Eva visibly relaxed, and John was back at her side and getting her to her feet again in an instant.

“We’re almost there,” he urged. “You can do this, Eva.”

She glared at John, looking like she was ready to snap at him, but she held it back. Her loose jacket had a new tear in it, and Adam looked ruffled, but they were okay.

“Let’s move, John,” Eva settled on. She got her feet under her once again, managing to keep up with a log jog, although it looked like each heavy step was causing a jolt of pain for her.

Up ahead, the house was closer than it had been before. John could make out a few details. The slight pinkish tint of the roof, and the glinting glass of the windows. There were a few shapes on the porch, but John couldn’t tell if they were human or not. He only hoped that they were friendly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still unsure whether I prefer using zombie, monster, corpse or freak shruggggg. Would you believe me if I said the next update is soon?
> 
> twitter: @nonmurdering


	11. Chapter Ten

Quiet jumped up from her place on the couch, startling both Kaz and Ahab. They glanced at each other before looking back to Quiet. She was frowning, tilting her head ever so slightly. She flicked her wrist, and Ahab stood up, as well. 

Kaz watched as they both moved around silently, save for the dull thumping of Ahab’s boots on the wooden floor. Quiet snatched her rifle from where it was leaning against the wall, going through the motions of pulling back the slide and checking for a bullet. 

Kaz waited until the two of them were armed before following them. Despite feeling better, Ahab had yet to clear him of his concussion and permit him to use guns again. He wanted to ask what was happening, but at the same time, Kaz dared not break the tense silence. Even DD knew better than to make any noise, following his humans in a low crouch, his ears thrown forward, listening to whatever Quiet had heard.

Ahab nudged open the front door and peered both ways before exiting the house. Quiet was after him, tailed by Kaz and DD.

DD was up and growling as soon as he was at the edge of the porch. His tail stood as straight as a flag as he snarled, setting the three of them on edge.

“Ahab, what is that?” Kaz whispered.

Ahab shook his head. As far as they could see, it looked like a small, shifting mass.

“Quiet, what can you see?” Ahab asked, but Quiet was already on it.

She had her rifle up, the butt pressed against her shoulder as she peered down the scope. Not long after, the deafening crack of her gun. Kaz nearly fell over from the noise of it, recoiling and backing away. Ahab flinched, but he had his gun up in less than a second.

“Should I move forward?” he asked.

Quiet shook her head. She pulled back the slide, pawing for another bullet. She retreated into the house and was back out before Kaz knew what was happening. A pouch of ammo was at her side, as she slid the next bullet into the chamber and lined up for the shot. 

“Should we retreat?” Ahab asked after Quiet fired her next shot, her breath coming out heavy through her nose as she released it. 

Quiet looked at Ahab, her eyes intent on his. She shook her head. Ahab faced the moving group of zombies again, looking at each face to try and discern something. What it was, Kaz had no idea. He stayed back, figuring the two with the guns would appreciate if he didn’t interfere or get in their way. 

It didn’t take long for Quiet to down most of the group. As they approached, she set down her rifle and switched to a handgun. She looked to Ahab and jerked her head. The two of them took off, weapons held at their sides and ready to go.

Kaz fidgeted for a moment before taking off after them. He didn’t feel that he had any other choice. If the two of them were running into the thick of it, it must have meant that someone was being chased. And if they were both busy dropping bodies left and right, then they were going to need someone to help the victim.

 

The first shot startled their entire group. As if even the monsters were quelled by it, there was silence for a long time, although that might have just been the ringing in their ears from the noise of it. The one that had been hit all but exploded from the impact of the bullet. When nothing followed, the noise started again.

The group was starting to close in, and it seemed like Eva was becoming slower and slower, even with John attempting to drag her along. Every few steps she stumbled and nearly collapsed. Adam’s back was pressed against John’s. It wasn’t comfortable, but it was all the room they had. Each time Adam pulled the trigger, John could feel the recoil through both of their bodies. 

With Eva panting and crying in his arms, and Adam pressed against him for one last, desperate inch of space from grabbing, clawing hands, John realized they were going to die. That sniper was there for one shot and then left them for dead. 

He stopped moving. Adam tripped against him, and shouted something in Russian, probably. It only took a second, but it felt like a lifetime as John’s eye raked Eva’s face. Through the pain, he could see how beautiful she was. He thought of her when her hair was longer; how she would flip it over her shoulder and smile at him. 

John wasn’t sure that he was ready to die. He wasn’t ready for Eva and their son, or for Adam, to die. 

Adam snapped at him again, but it was drowned out. The two corpses next to Adam dropped like flies. Adam recoiled from the blast, splattered in blood and bits of rotting flesh. It was far away, but the sound of a bolt-action rifle casing snapping shut was as clear as a bell to John.

“Get down!” he ordered. He fell to the ground with Eva, shielding her extremely sensitive and vulnerable belly as they went down.

Adam fell on top of John, shielding his head. John’s heart was hammering away, praying that the sniper could act quick enough with a bolt-action to keep them safe.

The group withered away as the shots continued. When there was a pause in the bullets, John forced Eva back to her feet. Adam was already up, taking out the last few that were farther away from them. 

Three people were running at them, but John’s brain was too scattered to know if he recognized any of them. Someone shouted his name, but it seemed far away.

“She needs a doctor!” John demanded, struggling to keep upright. Her groans were turning into shallow screams. 

“I’m here.”

John knew that voice. His eye snapped up, meeting one that mirrored his own. The only difference was a soft smile and the extra shrapnel from the explosion. Some of the stress melted out of John’s body as Ahab hopped to the other side of Eva’s body, and helped him support her.

“Do you know what to do?” John asked, his voice ragged.

Ahab grimaced. “No, but it’s better than nothing.”

John nodded. It wasn’t the answer he wanted, but for now, it would have to do. His ears were ringing louder and louder as the seconds went by, and it wasn’t until he was on the porch steps of the house he knew so well that he realized why. The bullets stopped. 

A girl with brown hair shoved John out of the way, taking his place at Eva’s side. If he were less exhausted, he might have snapped at her, but as it was, he accepted the change. John watched his brother, his girlfriend—he would have to check with Eva about that one, she wasn’t a fan of labels—and a strange woman disappear into the house.

John’s legs were made of lead as he gazed at the front door. The paint was peeling, and there were chips from a lack of upkeep, but it was the same house he grew up in all those years ago. 

A warm hand rested on John’s back. The fingers softly rubbed through his leather jacket, dulling the touch. It was soothing, all the same.

“John?” 

John knew that voice. He could never forget it, even after ten years. John found the strength to focus his eyes on him. Concerned sky-blue eyes that always looked somewhat misplaced on his face. He looked different without his shades, but just as handsome as ever. Ten years had changed him in odd ways. His eyebrows looked thicker, and he let his hair grow out. Some things never changed. His straight nose, his high cheekbones, and those full lips with a cupid’s bow like no other.

“Kazuhira,” John murmured. 

“Yeah, John, it’s me.”

John brought his hands to Kaz’s cheeks, watching him for a long time before wrapping his arms around Kaz’s shoulders. Kaz stiffened up in his grip, but his hand was still rubbing John’s back. 

“I missed you, Kaz.”


	12. Chapter Eleven

John sat on the porch. He flicked at chips of paint, scraping them from the old wood that groaned under his weight. Behind him, the dog—DD, he’d learned—hopped up onto his hind legs and slammed his massive paws against the door with a low whine. John looked DD over from the tip of his snout to his hind paws. Kaz said he was young, but he was already huge. John wasn’t certain he was entirely dog, but he seemed trained well enough. 

DD dropped down a second later, still whining at the door. He paced back and forth across the porch, refusing to settle himself. 

At least he had an outlet for his energy.

John wasn’t sure what to do with himself. Sitting still made him antsy, but getting up and moving around only made him want to go back to the house as soon as he could. Adam gave him a few hours of good distraction, rounding up bodies from Quiet’s slaughter and dragging them away from the fields. Now that that was done, John didn’t have anything else to do. Kaz showed him where to wash up, but John didn’t particularly care.

Another muffled wail came from inside the house. DD yelped at the door, going over to it immediately and scratching furiously at the gap between the base of the door and the floor. John raked his hands through his hair, scratching hard at his scalp. He didn’t know how long it had been since Quiet and Ahab dragged Eva away. It was driving him insane.

The door behind John was wedged open.

“DD—fuck, no, DD, get down,” Kaz grumbled.

The altercation between man, dog, and door was quick, with DD being forced to stay outside the house. Kaz sighed loudly as he shut the door behind himself. He collapsed against it for a moment, and then stepped closer to John.

“Ahab says she’s going well,” Kaz said.

John chewed on his lower lip, formulating a reply. No matter how he wracked his brain, he didn’t have one.

Kaz’s shoes edged into John’s view.

“Can I sit with you?” Kaz asked.

John huffed, then scooted to the side a little bit on the porch. As he shifted, the flecks of paint that he’d chipped away at scattered to the ground below his feet. He crushed a fleck into the ground with the toe of his boot. Kaz sat down a little closer than was necessary. He seemed to sense it, too, for he edged away from John a moment later.

The silence and space that spanned between them were awkward and uncomfortable. John fidgeted with a new piece of paint, while Kaz drummed his fingers against his knee. There were so many elephants in the room, there was hardly enough space for the two of them.

“Thought the doctors told you that you couldn’t have kids?” Kaz asked.

John grimaced and rolled his eye. Eva screamed within the house, and Kaz winced at his timing. John turned to look at Kaz, with his peach fuzz beard and his too-long hair. He’d changed so much in ten years, it was almost hard to believe that this was the same man from so long ago. 

John finally let out a soft sigh, and allowed himself to crack a small smile.

“Guess they were wrong,” John said.

Kaz’s eyes flashed over to John. They flickered up and down, getting a read on John like second nature. At John’s whisper of a smile, Kaz grinned back.

“Just bad timing, yeah?” he pressed.

“It wasn’t as if we ever needed anything before, why would the end of the world make us start using protection?” John asked back.

All at once, Kaz’s grin turned pained. John didn’t consider how talking about his girlfriend to his ex might make him uncomfortable. Oh well, too late.

“So, you and Ahab, huh?” John teased.

If Kaz’s expression was pained before, it was downright miserable now. His jaw clenched tightly, and he turned his head to hide his frown. John watched his shoulders draw tight before he released a shaky breath.

“No,” Kaz admitted. He gritted the word out between his teeth. “At least, I don’t think so.” Kaz sighed heavily once more. “He’s closer with Quiet than he’s been with me since New York went down.”

John nodded slowly. He looked away from Kaz. Instinctually, John pawed at the breast pocket of his jacket for a cigar. He frowned when he didn’t find one. Then he furrowed his eyebrows. He was certain that Eva had broken him of that habit a long, long time ago. He hadn’t wanted a smoke for upwards of five years. John glanced back at Kaz. He glanced away. Maybe it was the stress from what was happening inside the house.

“That Quiet girl is quite the shot,” John mused. “She, uh, shoot your arm when you first came across her?” John asked. He was desperately hoping to get the subject away from his brother, since it seemed so tense for Kaz.

Kaz snorted. “No, that was Ahab.”

John’s jaw dropped. He stood up in a flash, Kaz yelling “ _wait, wait wait!_ ” at him. Kaz twisted like a snake and snatched John’s ankle, stopping him before he could get very far.

“That’s not how I meant it!” Kaz insisted. His eyes were wide as he stared up at John. “Jesus, John, sit back down.”

John fumed for a second more before he turned on his heel and sat down next to Kaz once more. He shifted so that they were a little closer.

“What kind of guy are you, assuming that your brother cut off his boyfriend’s arm because of…” Kaz trailed off. “What _were_ you thinking he did?”

“That he cut off your arm!” John snapped.

“He did,” Kaz said, he was quick to raise his hand to stop John from going anywhere. “For a good reason,” he continued. “I was bitten. Somehow Ahab knew that it was bad,” Kaz explained. “He did what he had to.” Kaz paused for a long time. He turned to look at John. His eyebrows drew tighter together. “We’ve been around people that don’t take care of the bites, John. It’s… it’s bad. Makes them sick and then kills them. It’s like poison.”

John hummed. He scrubbed his hand over his face. “I didn’t need that kind of added scare in my life,” John grumbled.

“Didn’t mean to scare you, Boss,” Kaz laughed.

They both locked eyes for a heartbeat. John stood up while Kaz turned his head. John thought it was kind of cute that the old nickname slipped out, no doubt Kaz thought it was embarrassing.

John glanced back at the door. DD was nosing around near the handle, but he had stopped whining. For a few moments, Eva had been quiet. Now that John realized it, it was unnerving to be surrounded by relative silence. John took cautious steps toward the front door. DD looked up at him with a whimper.

John’s eyes darted from DD to the door before deciding to open it a crack. Even when only given an inch of space, DD shoved his face against the door until he was able to pry it open enough to slip inside.

“John,” Kaz chided, but he sounded miles away.

John slipped in behind DD, and closed the door after himself. All that was left of DD was the tip of his tail as he rounded the corner into the hallway. John followed at a slower pace. He dipped his head around every corner, taking note of all the changes over the years. There was a new screaming inside of the house, but it bounced off the walls in a way that made it hard to place.

John couldn’t remember the last time he had been to this place.

He entered the kitchen, as silent as he would be when he was a child. The glassware and plates had been recently cleaned, no doubt by Ahab and his small crew. John approached a cupboard on the far side of the kitchen. Old flashes of cold fear raced through his body as he opened the cupboard. Where once upon a time there would have been cookies that he and Ahab worked together to steal, there were only cobwebs.

John shut the cabinet, feeling bad for disturbing the daddy long legs inside of it.

“John?”

John slowly turned, coming face to face with his reflection. It took a long moment of staring for John to shake himself out of it. John moved forward, and wrapped his arms around Ahab. They hadn’t had the chance to earlier in the day. John dragged Ahab tight against his body, careful of all the places where he knew there were sensitive bits of shrapnel embedded in his body. 

Ahab lingered with his hands frozen in the air, simply tucking his elbows against John’s body.

John drew back, a question on his lips, but it died off when he noticed the blood staining Ahab’s arms up to his elbows. All the color drained from John’s face as his blood ran cold.

Ahab realized as well. He brought his arms closer to himself. “She’s fine,” he prefaced, “I was going to wash off and get you.”

John’s whole body sagged at Ahab’s words. “She’s really okay?” he asked.

Ahab nodded. He cracked a weary smile. “Exhausted, but fine,” he agreed. “There’s a tub of water out back, want to wash up before you see her?”

John nodded. He trekked after Ahab to the back of the house, and they spent a few minutes quietly scrubbing their arms and faces, watching the rivulets of red and black trail away into the dirt.

Ahab chuckled.

John furrowed his eyebrows. “What’s so funny?”

Ahab looked up at John, crow’s feet from years of smiling too brightly crinkling at the corners of his eyes. “She kept asking, ‘is it a boy? Tell me he’s a boy’, it was funny.”

The wheels in John’s head, albeit sluggishly, began to start churning.

“Hopefully you don’t mind, but she’s already named him. Said you both decided on David.”

John was so quick to get his feet under himself and into the house that he nearly tripped over his own legs. 

“Wait, John!” Ahab called.

He sprinted down the hallway, riling up DD who had been peacefully lying outside the guest bedroom door. John threw open the door, only to have it kicked back into his face. Quiet was in the doorway, wide eyes looking John up and down.

“Ahab said—” John panted. He looked down at Quiet’s arms. She held a blanket all bundled up, all but dripping with blood. John had seen a lot in the army, but this was enough to make him queasy, knowing that it was Eva’s blood. “Eva?” he called into the room.

Quiet shoved herself forward, and then reached behind herself with one hand to shut the door. Loud footsteps were on John’s tail. Ahab caught up with John, panting hard as he put a hand on John’s shoulder.

“John, I told you to wait,” Ahab groaned.

Quiet slipped away from them, bundling the blanket closer to herself.

“I thought you said she was fine?” John demanded.

“She’s—” Ahab cut himself off. “She’s could be doing better.”

John almost didn’t know what to say. Something akin to rage was beginning to bubble up under his skin.

“What’s wrong with her?” he hissed. He reached for the door, but Ahab’s freshly-washed hand snapped onto his wrist before he got the chance.

“There were two babies,” Ahab blurted.

The world stopped around John.

“What?” he whispered.

“There were two—twins,” Ahab explained. He used his grip on John’s wrist to pull him slightly away from the door. “The first was born without much of a hitch,” Ahab continued. “The second, he was a lot smaller, but this is the first time Eva’s gone through childbirth—and, and there wasn’t much that Quiet or I knew how to do…” Ahab caught himself before he could ramble too much. “There’s a lot of bleeding,” he said. “It’s more under control than when he was being born, but she’s very weak.”

John nodded. The bubbling under his skin was still there, but it had quieted down somewhat.

“Am I allowed to see her?” he muttered. John took in Ahab’s expression. He was weary and tired, it was unfair to pin his own stress onto his brother. “After all, she only named David. We can’t have David One and David Two running around,” he said with a small laugh.

Ahab laughed back at that one. “Like when mom’s friends would visit, and she would make sure we wore different outfits so no one would get confused.”

John nodded.

Ahab nodded back. “Yeah, she wants to see you. She might be resting.”

Ahab released John’s wrist, and he entered the guest bedroom. DD stood and pushed his way in, to Ahab’s dismay, but John didn’t mind.

DD was at Eva’s side in a heartbeat, snuffling at her. He hauled himself onto the bed, maneuvering around her and curling up near the head of the bed with her. Ahab’s footsteps retreated to the front of the house.

John carefully approached Eva. She was a sweaty, clammy mess, but she was still beautiful. John lowered to his knees next to the bed. Somehow, even dozing, she had her hands clasped across her blanket-covered belly, and had a baby tucked into both crooks of her elbows. John didn’t dare breathe too loud, lest he disturb the three of them. 

“Hey,” Eva croaked.

“Eva,” John whispered. He sat up, and moved a hand to Eva’s cheek. She nuzzled against him. Her skin was like fire against his palm. “Are you okay?”

Eva gave a little shrug of her shoulders. “We should have known,” she muttered.

John furrowed his eyebrows at her. “Known what?” he whispered.

“That there were going to be two,” she grumbled. The tiniest hint of a smile wormed its way into the corner of her lips. “You were supposed to be the sterile twin, of course fate would give me twins in return.”

John laughed softly. He leaned over one of the babies and pressed a soft kiss to Eva’s lips. 

“I heard you gave Ahab a hard time about David,” John said. “Which one is he?”

Eva shifted her left arm. David was larger than the other baby and had a thick patch of dark brown hair sprouting across the top of his head.

“Already looks like you,” Eva mused. “I knew he would.”

“What about this one?” John asked, motioning his head to the smaller baby in Eva’s right arm. The baby’s fingers curled and uncurled, and he babbled softly as he shifted in Eva’s grip.

“I picked David,” Eva mumbled. “You pick his name.”

John made a face. “I’m no good at this kind of thing,” he argued.

Eva gave a labored roll of her eyes. “It’s not hard, John, just pick a name.” She smirked then and looked much better than she had in the past few minutes. “Besides, no one’s around to write it on a birth certificate. If we don’t like it, we can change it.”

John held in a bark of laughter. “That’s not nice,” he scolded.

Eva continued to smirk and shrugged her shoulders again. “He’s still yours to name.”

John looked down at the other baby. As far as John could tell, he didn’t have a single hair on his head. He looked back to David.

“What about Eliot?” he offered.

Eva scoffed.

“You told me to name him!”

“I don’t like that name,” Eva quipped. At John’s pout, she sighed heavily. She looked down at the baby, mulling things over. “Eli works,” she acquiesced.

“You sure, your highness?” John teased.

Eva huffed a small laugh. “Positive,” she said.

John, as carefully as he could, ran the back of his finger down Eli’s arm. Both babies were still a little dirty, they would need to be cleaned more carefully at a later time. John tucked the finger of his other hand against David’s small palm, feeling his heartrate skyrocket when those little fingers tightly grabbed onto him.

“You’d better be a good dad to them,” Eva said. “No matter what happens.”

John shot her a confused look, but his attention was drawn away when David’s fingers squeezed down tighter.

“No matter what happens,” he agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twins??? Who saw that one coming? 
> 
> Hey, at least the rest of this is written out completely so there's no more month and a half long gaps?


	13. Chapter Twelve

_Three days later._

 

Kaz scrubbed his face wearily. He had barely slept since the twins were born. Downstairs, he could hear the beginnings of muffled crying. Kaz shoved himself out of bed, and stumbled out into the hallway. Adam’s door across the hall was wide open. No doubt he had heard the boys and was awake, but it wasn’t his turn to help Eva.

Kaz descended the stairs as quietly as he could, and glanced around to make sure no one else had woken up. Ahab and Quiet were sprawled on the couch together, snuggled up close. Kaz was too exhausted to be angry about it. Gently, Kaz nudged the door of the downstairs room open. John was in the corner on the loveseat, snoring softly. Soldier or not, he was a human with limitations.

Kaz’s eyes fell on Eva next. She was propped against the headboard, although barely. David was in one arm at her breast, while Eli was tucked close to her, still asleep but beginning to squirm. Eva’s gaze remained distant on the other side of the room, her face as white as a sheet. 

As quietly as he could, Kaz moved closer to Eva. He waited until David was done before gently removing him from Eva’s limp grasp. He set David next to Eli, and spared half a second to snort at the way they turned away from each other rather than toward each other. 

“Eva?” Kaz whispered.

Her blue eyes, normally so clear, were hazy as she let them roll over to Kaz.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Tired,” Eva croaked.

Kaz nodded. He pushed some of her sweaty hair away from her forehead. “I’m going to check and see if you’re bleeding, okay?”

Eva nodded, and then let her eyes fall shut.

Gently, and still mindful of the three sleeping bodies in the room, Kaz peeled back Eva’s heavy blanket. She was wracked with shivers even under it, so he wanted to make this quick. Just a check, and then he would be done and could tuck her in again. Maybe get her his blanket from upstairs, too. 

Kaz’s stomach bottomed out. There was glistening blood pooling beneath Eva. Her thighs and backside were drenched, and the sheets would need to be changed again. 

“Eva, you’re bleeding. Do you want me to wake up John?”

Eva shook her head. With what little strength she had, she sat up and reached over the boys for her pants. Kaz helped her into them, and then gave her his hand when she made to stand up. She swayed, but was quick to find her balance. She wasn’t helpless, just weakened. 

“Would you like me to help clean you up?” Kaz asked.

Eva shook her head again. “I need to go outside for a while. It’s so stuffy in here.”

Kaz made sure the babies were okay, and then checked to make sure John was still sound asleep before leading Eva into the hallway, and then out the front door. Even after only a few moments, blood began to stain the back of Eva’s pants. It made him nervous, allowing her to go outside. But it wouldn’t be for long, and then he would go and get Ahab to help her.

Eva sat on the swinging bench for a few minutes to catch her breath. Kaz sat silently beside her. Just inside, he could hear DD’s nails clicking against the wood floor.

“You don’t have to be so nice to me,” Eva murmured.

Kaz glanced at her from the corners of his eyes. “What do you mean? You’re sick. We’re a… a family now, and we have to help each other.”

Eva hummed quietly. Her head rolled back, but the rise and fall of her chest assured Kaz that she was still okay. Kaz wasn’t sure for how long she sat, but he could track the movement of the moon across the sky. Every few minutes, he made sure Eva was still okay and not ready to bite his face off.

“Kaz?”

Kaz jumped. Eva’s voice was a soft whisper, but she still managed to catch him off guard. 

“Yeah?” Kaz answered. 

“Can I show you something?” Eva asked.

Kaz adjusted himself on the swinging bench, turning to face Eva as he did so. He nodded. Whatever it was, it must have been important if she was going to Kaz for it. Kaz wished he knew Eva better, if for nothing other than to understand what she was thinking and feeling. She looked like she was smiling, but Kaz knew that it wasn’t as genuine as it could have been.

Wobbling again, especially after getting up from the swinging seat, Eva stood. She slid out of John’s oversized jacket, allowing it to crumple and pool at her feet. 

Somewhat guiltily, Kaz let his eyes roam Eva’s back. The military hardened her muscles, and even after what must have been a year of going hungry, they were sleek and prominent. He could just barely make out her ribs and count them, but she didn’t look worse for wear. He wasn’t sure if he was mad at, or envious of John.

Kaz’s eyes came to rest on a blackened circle on her right shoulder, just at the base of her shoulder blade. The mark was almost a perfect oval, seeping red lines.

His eyes widened.

Eva pulled up her shirt, and Kaz jumped up to help her, hearing the groans escaping her throat. The mark looked horrific. Black and purple lines spiked from the mark, and the damaged, ripped skin there was positively green. It smelled like death. It _looked_ like death.

“When did this happen?” Kaz whispered.

Eva, with Kaz’s help, slowly lowered her shirt again. Kaz stooped to pick up John’s jacket, and carefully perched it on her shoulders.

“When we were running to the house,” she admitted. Eva slowly sank into the seat again, and this time Kaz noticed how she didn’t lean into her right shoulder. “John was helping Adam, but it wasn’t his fault.”

“What about the boys?” Kaz suddenly hissed. “You’ve been _breastfeeding them_!”

“I didn’t know what else to do!” Eva hissed back. She collapsed after she said it, breath rushing out of her from the effort to snap. “But they’re just fine,” she insisted. “I think if something was going to happen, it would have happened.”

Kaz didn’t like the sound of it, but he supposed that she was right, in the end.

“You didn’t tell anybody?” Kaz asked, furrowing his eyebrows at her. He had been keeping an eye on her before, but now even more so.

“Your friend, the girl with the ponytail, she knows,” Eva said. “I knew that I could trust her with it, she wouldn’t say anything.”

Kaz smiled wryly. “She never says anything.”

Eva gave him a look. “You know what I mean.”

Kaz nodded. “I know what you mean,” he agreed.

They sat in silence for a while longer, until DD began to whine softly on the other side of the door. Kaz thought about letting him out, but he wasn’t sure that he could stand after learning about Eva. Everything in his body was in turmoil, he couldn’t imagine how it was for Eva. Kaz looked out to the sky again, back to watching the stars shift around the sky.

“I’m going to walk for a bit,” Eva whispered.

Kaz jumped awake from his gentle doze. “Are you sure?” he asked, his voice rough from sleep. At least his voice didn’t sound as bad as Eva’s did. “Eva, if you’re going to…” Kaz didn’t know how to say it. “I should get John.”

Eva flapped her hand dismissively as she stood. “Don’t bother him. I’ll just walk around the house a bit.” She turned her eyes to Kaz. “When I’m tired, I’ll go back to sleep.”

Kaz pursed his lips and looked away from Eva. He couldn’t see her smiling, not when he knew where she was going.

“What about David and Eli?” Kaz pressed.

“They’ve got a good family,” Eva said. “I know you’ll take care of them. And Adam and John, too, even if they’re both helpless when it comes to children.”

Kaz’s heart was hammering in his chest. He wanted to go get John, but both he and Eva knew that nothing good would come of it.

“Okay,” Kaz agreed. “I’ll go inside.” Kaz paused. He finally looked at Eva again. She had her arm held out, offering Kaz John’s heavy jacket. He took it from her, tightly clenching his fist in the leather. “John’s going to be furious.”

“Let him be angry,” Eva said with a roll of her eyes. She descended the porch stairs steadily, albeit still a little shaky in the knees like a newborn deer. “He can’t sit forever and waste away about something he couldn’t have prevented.”

“That’s not how he’ll see it and we both know it,” Kaz mumbled. He felt bad, letting her walk around with blood on the back of her pants. At the same time, there was no reason for her to change them now. 

Words lingered between them. Kaz wanted to get back at his ex’s new girlfriend, but now was certainly not the time for that. He wanted to say that he would have liked to get to know her better, but he was only feeling that way because she was going to die. What was he supposed to say when faced with the death of someone he barely knew?

“Go to bed, Kaz,” Eva urged.

Kaz frowned. He tried to convince himself that the fog of tears and the tightness in his chest were because he was exhausted

“Be safe,” he said. 

It was better than saying goodbye.

Eva nodded, and headed around the left side of the house.

Kaz waited a few more seconds, listened for anything that sounded like a person collapsing, before he got up and went inside. DD was at the door for him, and followed Kaz through the house. Kaz paused to peek in at John and the babies, all still asleep.  
Carefully, while DD waited outside the door like a good dog, Kaz tiptoed into the room. He delicately draped John’s jacket over his shoulders. Kaz felt a spike of fondness at the sight of John, his head tilted forward and softly snoring.

Kaz softly brushed some of his unruly brown hair out of his face. He was positive that the straps of his eyepatch were digging in uncomfortably, but Kaz knew better than to remove it when it came to John. Where Ahab would have slept through it, any touch near John’s eye would startle him.

Kaz left the room, quietly ascended the stairs, made sure Adam’s door was still open for when the boys started crying again, and then entered his room.

Kaz flopped onto the bed. DD hopped up and curled in near Kaz’s right side. Guilt and fear brewed in the pit of his gut. Was he to blame for letting Eva walk away like that? Should he have tried to do something about it? 

He stood again, much to DD’s dismay, and walked over to the window. Kaz peeled back the curtain, peering through the boarded-up glass. He could see a shape staggering halfway between the house and the edge of the property, and if it weren’t for the moon glinting off her yellow hair, Kaz wouldn’t have known it was Eva. She wasn’t the person that he imagined her to be. Kaz supposed that dying made all the difference.

Eva stopped. Her body shifted and she waited for a very long time. Eventually, she turned around and continued moving.

Kaz laid back down next to DD, tightly holding onto his paw.

 

“Where is she?!” John roared.

Kaz was so startled that he nearly fell out of the bed. There was a horrible taste in his mouth, and he had tender lines all over him from falling asleep fully dressed. Downstairs, John was stomping back and forth, and sounded like a rabid dog.

Kaz stumbled downstairs, barely awake by the time he got there. Ahab and Quiet looked just as startled, their clothes and hair rumpled. Adam was the only one who looked calm, standing in the corner of the living room.

“What’s happening?” Kaz groaned.

“Eva’s gone,” both John and Adam said, one a snarl and one a statement.

Cold dread flooded Kaz’s body. Suddenly, his mouth felt dry and his hand felt sticky with sweat. John was furious, growling and snapping at everyone. Kaz barely noticed.

“Kaz was the last one with her last night,” Adam said, cool as a cucumber.

The silence that fell over the room was deafening. Kaz wished the ringing in his ears would stop. John slowly turned to him, with a look that read _I’m going to lose it any moment_.

“What happened?” he asked. He was quieter now, and that was almost worse than when he was shouting.

In the other room, the twins were beginning to stir and make noise. Quiet stood from the couch and went to them, unafraid of John’s wrath. On her way, she gave Kaz a sympathetic look. 

“She wanted to go outside,” Kaz said. His voice was next to nothing. “And then she said she wanted to go for a walk around the house.” The lie was digging into him like a stitch in his side. His gut roiled with every word, but he couldn’t tell John the truth. 

Kaz could see John’s shoulders trembling as he held down his anger. It was nearly silent. The only sound was Quiet softly humming in the other room.

“You didn’t go with her?”

“No, John, I didn’t.”

“Why did you think she would be okay?” John hissed. “She’s sick. She’s been bleeding nearly nonstop for two days.”

“She said she was going around the house,” Kaz argued. “I thought she could handle it.”

John shook his head furiously. Without saying anything else, he stormed out of the house, making sure to slam the door hard behind him. Kaz’s gaze flickered between Ahab and Adam.

“We should help him find her,” Ahab said.

“He may not want to find her, despite what he feels,” Adam replied. His arms were crossed over his chest as he leaned back against the wall. Kaz couldn’t help but feel that Adam’s gaze was pointed at him in particular. “More than likely, she’s dead. If he finds her dead, or worse, not dead, it would destroy him.”

Ahab frowned. “You know that won’t stop him,” he muttered. “John won’t believe it until he sees her again.” He stood up, and smoothed his greasy hair out of his face. “I’ll help him.”

“Me too,” Kaz said. The truth lingered on the tip of his tongue, but he didn’t know how to say it without breaking everyone’s hearts. “We’ll have a better chance if there’s more of us looking.”

Ahab pulled on his shoes, barely waited for Kaz to do the same, as he rushed out of the door and took off after John.

As Kaz struggled to slip on his boots, another pair of brown leather boots came to rest just inside his line of sight.

“What really happened, Kaz?” Adam drawled.

Kaz chewed on his cheek. He finished putting on his shoes and stood up. He looked at Adam, leveling him with an equally serious and calm stare that Adam was giving him.

“She was bitten.”

Adam furrowed his eyebrows. Kaz inwardly cheered about knowing something that Adam didn’t.

“Think of komodo dragons. Something in the bite of those _monsters_ is poisonous, probably the spit. Ahab knew about it somehow, that’s how I ended up like this,” he explained. “Eva’s happened a while ago, and it was on her back. We couldn’t have done anything.”

Adam’s eyes flickered back and forth between Kaz’s eyes. They were slightly narrowed as he took in what Kaz was saying.

“Who else knows?” he asked.

“Quiet does. Eva trusted her, and she trusted me. I don’t know how I feel about you, but she was with you for long enough that you deserve to know,” Kaz said.

Adam raised a thin eyebrow. “John doesn’t?”

“Look at how he’s already acting,” Kaz scoffed. “Imagine if I told him. I would be dead on the living room floor, and then what would happen?”

At first, Adam didn’t respond. He and Kaz watched each other, Adam analyzing the information and Kaz wondering who was going to throw the first punch if it came down to it. Finally, Adam nodded.

“Better go help him look. It’ll seem less suspicious.”

“I already knew that,” Kaz growled.

He shoved passed Adam and onto the porch. He couldn’t see Ahab or John, but he could hear them shouting her name. Kaz walked around to the back of the house, and began walking toward the distant tree line. 

“Eva!” he called. He kept his eyes on the scenery, looking for anything that was moving in an unfriendly way. It seemed as though everything was calm. At least for the time being. 

A wail brought Kaz out of his thoughts. He scrambled to put the pieces together. It was John. There was no doubt in his mind that something had happened to him. He sounded injured, possibly attacked by a zombie.

“John!” Kaz yelled, taking off in the direction he’d heard him.

Not too far away, Ahab was tearing through the fields with little resistance. His eye met Kaz’s. He was frantic and just as scared as Kaz.

Kaz struggled to catch up to Ahab, wobbling on tired, stiff legs. They were off course of where Kaz had seen Eva walking last night, and that let a bit of relief course through his blood. Maybe he hadn’t found her, maybe he hadn’t found her.

Ahab burst through the bushes and shrubs in front of them, scattering birds and tiny animals without a second thought. He skidded to a halt at a small clearing, and Kaz smacked straight into his back. 

Kaz pushed away from Ahab and sidled around him, freezing when he saw John. His entire body was shaking as he kneeled in the dirt and leaf litter. His back was curled forward, arms cradling something that was clicking and wheezing.

“John?” Kaz whispered.

John looked shattered when he glanced over his shoulder at them.


End file.
